I write a lot about the stuff I wore in high school. I wore everything from chartreuse prom dresses from the ‘50s, not-quite-right overalls, Salvation Army pajamas, and for-real witch’s robes, and it was all very confusing-looking…but the fact that it was confusing-looking makes sense; I was confused. About who I was and what I wanted, and a lot of that came out through what I wore.
I probably wouldn’t throw on a neon ball gown “just because” these days (although you never know), but I always think it’s interesting when I notice that despite just how different everything in my life is now, so many of the things I loved two decades ago are still hanging around.
Whoa.
As an example: my makeup, more often than not, consisted of way (way way) too dark, strawberry- or wine-colored lipstick paired with big black kohl-swirls that I drew outwards from the corners of my eyes onto my temples, and then topped with a dusting of glitter (and a heart on my cheek, apparently). And what I usually paired with this look was the oldest, most ripped-up t-shirt or old button-down or sweatshirt I could find.
Button-down + rope belt, yes.
Something about the contrast between a done-up face and a don’t-care outfit…I just liked it.
I still do.
But these days, when I wear dark lipstick, I do it a little differently. The kohl swirls are gone (though you can see echoes of them here; I still like my eyeliner to be seen, not hinted at); I’ve mostly aged out of glitter…but wine-colored lips are a classic, and I don’t think they’re just for autumn. Nowadays, though, I steer clear of heavy matte shades in dark colors – they’re just too much for my face – in favor of sheer glosses applied with a fingertip.
What I wear dark lip shades with now: the bare minimum on my skin (just Simple Skincare Nourishing 24Hr Day/Night Cream mixed with a tiny bit of foundation and concealer to cover any spots – dark red lipstick will draw out redness elsewhere in your skin, so it’s important to start with a flawless finish). Barely-there blush. The faintest hint of eggplant on my eyes. The thinnest swipe of liner.
And some false eyelashes, because we can’t go too simple now, can we?
I’ve written before about how often I felt silly or ridiculous or just plain out-of-place when I was in high school. So there’s something very special in the realization that I may have been trying on one costume or another pretty much every day, in search of who I really was…but even in all that searching, something of the real me – the me who’s still there today – was coming through, because I just couldn’t help it.
It’s just a lipstick and an old sweatshirt, but it was me then and it’s still me now, and there’s something cool about that.
