Allow me to assist. Because if there is one thing I am an expert on, it is jerry-rigging your Halloween costume because you couldn’t get it together to actually shop for a real one.
Here we are in 2008, in costumes that serve as a perfect example of the aforementioned jerry-rigging: this year, we were Pete Doherty and Kate Moss. Except when I dressed up as Kate Moss I ended up just sort of looking like I’d done a better-than-average job of getting myself clothed, so I added cat ears and whiskers and called myself Pete Doherty’s cat (because, if you recall, at the time he was famous for being a completely atrocious cat owner, which made the whole concept pretty tasteless, but Halloween is a good time for tastelessness – maybe not this much, but some).
Anyway.
Let’s talk shopping your closet for Halloween costumes, because no one’s posting about that this week. Points for originality!
Buttercup and Westley: All he has to wear is a black outfit and one of those cheapie eye masks (or just cut eye holes in a piece of black fabric and tie it around his head). Sword optional. You need to wear a (preferably red) peasant-y dress, put your hair in beachy waves, smudge a little brown shadow on your face to act as dirt, and look distressed.
Atreyu and the Childlike Empress: I love this one, and all it involves on his end is a brown or black shirt and pants and a pendant that you can call an Auryn. For you, toss on a long white nightgown and stick a little sparkly thing in the center of your forehead. Slick back your hair and get all wide-eyed and wistful, and whenever anyone talks to you, reply with “Bastian…say my name.” Done.
The Guardians Of The Galaxy: Write “I Am Groot” on his sweatshirt if you didn’t think to buy one ahead of time, and paint yourself green and wear some black clothing. Boom: you’re Groot and Gamora.
Aaaaand some cripplingly obvious choices that still, for me, fall into the category of Oldies But Goodies:
Gypsy: Long skirt, peasant blouse, and every scarf and piece of jewelry in your closet.
Morticia Addams: (works better if you have dark hair or have access to a long, dark wig): Pour yourself into a floor-length black dress, add a black shawl, and do up your face with white paint, smoky eyes, and blood-red lips.
Hippie: You know how to do this one: bellbottoms, fringe, psychedelic colors, platforms, and some drawn-on lower lashes a la Twiggy. Don’t be, like, a cool Kate Hudson-ish hippie; be a crazy one. That’s much more fun.
Jane Fonda: Pair the brightest leotard and tights you own with leg warmers, sneakers, and a sweatband.
’90s Grunge Rocker: Throw on an oversized plaid shirt and ripped jeans, and add a guitar and disaffected look. Bonus: the presence of a PBR in your hand will only add to the effect.
Cowboy/Cowgirl: Do you have jeans and a plaid shirt? OK, then. All you need to add are Western-style boots, a cowboy hat, and a bandanna, and you’re ready to rodeo (groan).
Glam Rocker: Pair your tightest pants with your highest heels, add a ripped-up tee and a studded belt, and paint your face with every glittery makeup product you own. Ugh, so fun. I would like to dress like this anyway, so Halloween is a good excuse.
Reposted in part from my article on Celebrations.com.
