The first thing I noticed when we walked into our room at Alisal Guest Ranch was the books: there were huge bookshelves filled with them everywhere – plus a library next door with floor-to-ceiling shelves and enormous leather couches. It reminded me of the hotels my parents and I stayed at when I was a kid, and how you could always borrow a few paperbacks from the front desk. It was only the next morning, when our kids came in to wake us up, that I realized what had felt so odd about our hotel room: there was no TV; not anywhere.
We’re staying at the ranch for a couple of nights on a press trip before we head to Disneyland, and I spent the drive down to Santa Barbara figuring I’d regret having told the kids what the next stop on our trip was (imagining hearing “BUT WHEN ARE WE GOING TO DISNEYLAAAAAND?” on repeat for the duration), but we got here, dropped our stuff in our room, then ran out onto the lawn to play leapfrog. And then today we rode horses and petted zebus and gathered chicken eggs from the coops and got to sit in enormous piles of bunnies and guinea pigs (!!!!! I died) and made mosaic butterflies in the arts & crafts house, and I swear to you: I have not heard the word “Disneyland” one single time.
You know what other word I haven’t heard? “TV.” They haven’t even noticed it’s not there.
THE FOOD
The food at Alisal is about ten thousand times better than it has to be. In my experience, resorts that include meals in the room price tend not to offer spectacular dining experiences; you’re a captive audience, so they don’t really have to try, you know? But the food here is honestly phenomenal. We’ve eaten diver scallops and ribeye and tenderloin, and without exception, all have been next-level – even the pasta with red sauce that we ordered off of the kids’ menu was so good that we wanted to steal it for ourselves.
My favorite part of the dining experience here, though, is the presentation. It’s retro and formal in all sorts of charming ways: men are required to wear dinner jackets; meals are served in an “Oak Room” with classic linens and a roaring fireplace; lunches are made to order and given to you in a wicker picnic basket along with a red picnic blanket so you can eat by the lake. The whole thing is old-school and unexpected and lovely.
THE ACTIVITIES
Horseback riding is the main attraction here, but since our kids aren’t old enough to go on actual rides we stuck to walking them on leads. That was OK, though, because the fact that we didn’t do much riding meant that we got to hang out at the ranch doing all the other stuff: arts and crafts, bocce ball, egg-gathering, corn hole and…….
BUNNY-PETTING.
Omg.
(There are a bunch of guinea pigs up there too.)
I could not get enough of them, and now I want a bunny. (Not really, because I can’t deal with the poop situation. But I do want to pet a bunny as often as possible.)
THE SPA
I also need to tell you about the spa, because I don’t know what the woman who gave me my massage did, exactly, except there was something going on in my back that was very, very bad, and now it has been fixed. I’m serious. I woke up on Monday morning with a back that literally would not let me flip over without spasming (…maybe the long drive down? ugh, I’m ancient), and after an hour on a massage table I WAS FIXED. I am not exaggerating even the slightest bit when I say it was the most transcendent massage of my entire life. (I tried to book the therapist again for this morning just to ensure that my back is fixed forever and ever, but apparently the spa is closed tomorrow morning. I am sad about this.)
Summary: Alisal is a dude ranch minus the “dude” part: it’s for people who love riding, but also love coming back from the trail to luxurious rooms, a ton of optional activities, a glass of wine from a local vineyard, and some crazy-delicious food. (And since it’s located just about an hour north of Los Angeles, it’s also totally accessible.)
Big thanks to Alisal for the lovely stay.
