QOTD: Are Gift Registries For Kids Super Obnoxious?

You can have too many presents…but too many donut balloons? Never.

My first answer to this question is “Um yes.”

(BUY MY CHILD ALL THE THINGS.)

And my second answer – the one which I came to after encountering one of said registries for the first time – is “Thank you god for making it possible for me to purchase a gift for my friend’s child that is actually desired and that does not require me to go to a toy store (where I must then manage my children’s internal turmoil upon being told that the toy is not for them).”

Registries in general always feel a little off to me. I mean, they totally make sense – especially for weddings and baby showers – but still: putting together a list of stuff you want, to me, has always felt in some ways like a demand for a thing that should be freely given. I had a registry for my wedding, obviously – and was super excited about it – but the concept of a registry has always felt, to me, like a thing that should begin and end with a wedding and/or a (first) baby.

And then my friend had a birthday party for her seven-year-old, and set up a registry that went along with it, and I cannot tell you how happy I was to be told exactly what her daughter would a) actually want, and b) not yet have. And then I clicked a button, didn’t pay for shipping (because I have Amazon Prime), and was done and done.

Every year, on my son’s birthday, I get a bunch of emails from friends in the weeks leading up to his party asking what he might want. I always want to say, “Nothing, seriously! He has everything he needs” (which is true). But people tend to buy presents for kids’ birthday parties, regardless of whether you say they should or shouldn’t, and if you refuse to give them ideas when they ask for them all you’re doing is making their life a bit harder.

So: I put together a registry for my son’s birthday and linked it to the e-invite. I felt extremely weird about it – hence this post – but I also know that as a busy parent I’m personally grateful to have these kinds of little chores made easier for me, and figured my friends might as well (or they would ignore it completely, since they are my friends and know that IDGAF about stuff like this). Since I’m close enough to all the invitees that I can ask them what they think and get an (honest) reaction, I’m also using this as a bit of an experiment to see whether the reaction from parents is positive or negative.

I’m curious what you think about this in general – are children’s party registries just too gauche for words, or are they a nice way to make people’s lives easier while saving them money on unwanted or unneeded gifts? In the meantime, here are a few little tips I came up with for making them less awkward, if you decide to try it out yourself:

Title the registry “No Gift Necessary – Just In Case You Want Ideas” (or something to that effect)
Keep the gift options fairly limited – I think the list should only be a little longer than the number of invitees, so that nobody feels like they should purchase more than one thing.
Keep the items low-priced (I personally think everything should be $20 or under; if a grandparent or someone very close to your child wants to buy a pricey gift, that can be a separate conversation).
I think it’s really nice to also include an option to make a donation to the charity of your child’s choice. (If you create the registry on smile.amazon.com, 0.5% of all purchases will go to a charity you select, or you can add a separate URL to make donating easier for guests.)
If you simply feel too uncomfortable including a link to the registry on the invitation itself (I get you), consider just sending guests a link to it if they request gift ideas.

P.S. If you’re curious what kinds of items a five-year-old might want, here are a few things Kendrick and I thought might be fun for Indy. Bonus points if you can tell which of us made each selection (you can).