Kendrick took these photos when I was slightly less than three months pregnant – that’s two full months ago – and I forgot to post them until now, and when I just scrolled back through my drafted posts and saw them I remember how I was so excited to finally be showing, and I thought I’d be all about the body-conscious outfits from that moment on straight through until the end, just because…you know, being pregnant is fun. It’s fun to talk about it. It’s fun to have strangers stop you on the street and congratulate you, or just smile at you, just because.
Except…I’m sort of not about those outfits, not like I expected to be. I’m bigger now than I was when these photos were taken, obviously, but still at the point where I can hide the fact that I’m expecting if I want to. And I’ve been sort of surprised by the extent to which I’ve been going for outfits that are less “hello-I-am-pregnant” and more…normal. Which for me means: loose and layer-y and not hello-I-am-pregnant at all.
Surprising, I guess, because the reality is that this is probably (not “definitely”, but probably) the last time in my life I’ll ever be pregnant. And going into this, I was so excited about it and so looking forward to everything that came with it that I really anticipated wanting to wear dresses or shirts that effectively showed off what was going on as much as possible. I kind of wanted to…you know…make a big deal about it, even if only through wearing baby doll dresses, body-hugging tops; styles that I wouldn’t ordinarily wear.
But more often than not, on the average morning, I throw on leggings and a loose sweater and a jacket, and at this point, at least, the fact is that if you didn’t look for evidence…you probably wouldn’t even know I was expecting. And I’ve been finding myself wanting that to be the way it is; wanting to just get into the grocery store and back out again without having a chat about when I’m due; wanting to not have anyone offer me their seat on the subway; wanting to not make a big production about our Big Production.
And then on other days I realize that it’s already half over, and I start feeling sad that I haven’t been “reveling” more – because other than the bacon-Nutella-peanut-butter-marshmallow-fluff-honey sandwiches (oh, I’m serious)…I kind of haven’t been. The first time around being pregnant was this Huge Thing – the only thing, really, that was on my mind – and now it’s something I’m looking forward to being over, because on the other side is this incredible person I can’t wait to meet.
But the process? On some days it doesn’t feel like that big of a deal, I suppose.
And then on other days…it does. Because it is exciting. It really is. And on those days, a dress like this is what I want to wear.
Which is all to say: this is my hello-I-am-pregnant dress. I like it. (I also like that it’s less than $30.)
P.S. Kendrick made me do the emo guitar-playing shot. Blame him.
P.P.S. Almost done with that baby blanket! Or…well, halfway done, anyway. I’ll post instructions when I’m finished, but in the meantime, oh my god, that yarn is pretty. (More info on it here.)
On me: Target dress; Saks Fifth Avenue fedora; Freebird boots; Honore Satchel ℅ Botkier; Anthropologie necklace.
