Interview on Love Life Lace:
Recently the lovely Jordan Reid recently granted me an interview with her. She is the vivacious author of Ramshackle Glam, a lifestyle blog and so much more! If you’ve been following her you are probably just as head over heels about her as I am. She is genuine, smart, funny, and down to earth. Most of all I adore how well rounded and true to herself she is. The moment you think you have her pegged down as something she goes and changes on you. That is exactly what makes her fascinating! She is the ultimate renaissance woman. In case you can’t tell I kind of have a crush on her…
I talked with her about marriage, career, and dreams. Enjoy!
1. How long have you and your husband been together? Married?
Kendrick and I got engaged after dating for about six weeks (we met on MySpace when I was living in California and he was living in New York), and our engagement lasted about a year. We’ve now been married for a little over 2 years.
2. What were your career goals and dreams for yourself before you got married?
Actually, right around the time that I met Kendrick was when my dreams for my career sort of collapsed: I had been an actress since age 13, and the period when we began dating coincided with a period during which I realized that I didn’t want to be an actress any more…but I didn’t know what I wanted to be instead. I moved back to my hometown of New York City to be with my fiancé and decided that I wanted to pursue a job as an editor or print journalist, but honestly? I had only the vaguest idea of what my goals were, and no idea how I would go about achieving them.
3. How have your career goals and dreams changed since you’ve been married? (if at all)
It’s difficult to accurately convey the extent to which my career goals have changed since I’ve been married. Two years ago, I was managing a law firm (http://ramshackleglam.com/2009/08/164441551/) mostly because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and working at a law firm paid better than bartending. I was in a state of constant panic, aware that time was slipping through my fingers and that I was still in the “figuring it out” phase while everyone I knew seemed to be moving up their own career ladders.
Today, everything is different: I never could have imagined my career going in this direction, or how fulfilled I would be by my job. How my career is now is sort of like a Venn diagram where all the little bits and pieces of everything I ever wanted to do meet at the intersection.
4. How do you see your spouse aiding in your success?
Well, logistically Kendrick was the reason why it was possible for me to jump into writing Ramshackle Glam and hosting for BetterTV (http://www.better.tv/videos/search?q=jordan+reid&x=0&y=0) with both feet. The truth is that the first months as a freelancer are unstable ones, and the fact that Kendrick had a job (and insurance) to smooth the way really helped; I like to think I would have been able to do it on my own, but it certainly would have taken longer. Emotionally, working for yourself can be uncertain and stressful, and my family provides me with an amazing support system. Also, he doesn’t get annoyed when I ask him to spend a Saturday morning filming me while I dance around on our rooftop (http://ramshackleglam.com/2010/11/aldo-lets-dance/), which is pretty great.
5. In what positive way has marriage affected your life?
I think I used to be so fragile, so sensitive to others’ expectations and so uncertain about who I was and what I offered to the world that it was an amazing thing to all of a sudden have such a stabilizing, calm, steady force in my life: someone who consistently loved me for me, despite (or maybe because of) what I saw as my failings. Kendrick just made me feel really great about what I was doing, and really capable of achieving things I had never imagined. I mean, I came to him saying hey, I think I’d like to quit my job managing a law firm and do this thing that neither of us have ever even thought of as a possible career. And his response? Great. Do it! I’ll help.
6. In what negative way has marriage affected your life?
Well, it’s affected my life by inundating it with socks. They are everywhere. Under the table, in the bathroom, next the couch, in the sink…everywhere.
I think the easy answer is “oh, I can’t do what I want to do all the time because I have to think about someone else”…but…eh. I like that. It gives me pause. It makes me think harder about the ramifications of my decisions, and I think when you’re taking another person into account you’re more likely to make strong choices, more likely to avoid recklessness in favor of reason and compassion.
My marriage has not negatively affected my life in any way, and that’s the truth; I think the better question for me is how has my life negatively affected my marriage. And I suppose the answer to that is that when your life is to some extent your business it’s easy to let your marriage fall victim to that. And that’s something that Kendrick and I work actively to prevent every day; even though we’re comfortable sharing our relationship with readers, we are careful to shut off and to let private moments be private.
7. Is your spouse supportive of your dreams and goals? If yes, how does he show it?
I honestly can’t imagine anyone being more supportive of my goals than Kendrick; he has quite simply never wavered from his belief that I’m doing the right thing, and in fact has peeled me off the (tear-soaked) floor several times when I’ve questioned my choices.
8. How do you support and uplift your spouse in their career aspirations and life goals?
You know what? I think that I didn’t always do a very good job at this, and that in the past Kendrick has been much stronger in this regard. And I think his incredible supportiveness and steady belief in me has inspired me to follow his example, and as a result I’ve become a lot better at taking the time to really listen to what he wants from our relationship and from his life, and to think of ways to help him make his own dreams happen.
9. What is a lesson you have learned through being married that can be applied to your career?
I don’t believe that marriage is a battlefield, just like I don’t believe that being cutthroat gets you ahead in the workplace…or anywhere. Being a thoughtful, caring person makes a real difference regardless of who you’re interacting with, and “doing the right thing” is always the right decision.
10. What would you say to young women who are considering marriage but are concerned that it might negatively affect their career aspirations?
I moved across the country for Kendrick. I took a job that I hated to support him while he went on tour with his band (Harlem Shakes). And then he, in turn, took time away from what he wanted to be doing to help support my dreams. He’s been the driving force behind my ability to discover what truly makes me happy, and my ability to take steps that I never knew I was capable of. Marriage – or any committed relationship – is about choosing a partner who internalizes your happiness and makes it their own. It’s not a death sentence for your career, if your career is important to you and you are important to your partner.
Thank you ever so much Jordan for being so gracious and sharing such wonderful insight into your life. I know my readers and I greatly appreciate it!
