We need to have a conversation about something. Apparently there is this trend that is “taking the Internet by storm” – that’s a direct quote from a reader who emailed me about it – and it is called…
…
…
“Baby feet.” (Yes, ew. Not that baby feet are gross – they are obviously the opposite of gross – but just…adult trends evoking baby anything are a tiny bit “ew,” no? No? I don’t know.)
Click Here To See The Product I Used
A week or so ago a friend of mine to who I had bemoaned the sad, sad state of my feet left a package of some kind of Japanese foot treatment on my doorstep. The foot treatment, as it turned out, was intended to essentially dissolve the outer layers of skin cells on your feet, thereby transforming them into precious little baby shih-tzus. Or something.
My feet are BAD. I don’t even want to tell you how bad they are, because it veers into inappropriately disgusting territory, so be warned…but what we’re talking about are cracks so deep and painful that they actually make me limp. Frequently.
…Oh, what’s that you said? I should moisturize every night? I do. I wrap my feet in layers of petroleum jelly and Queen Helene and Saran Wrap…but if I miss even a day, my feet return to their (honestly terrible) original state.
It’s sort of an emergency situation. So I thought, what the hell: let’s burn my feet with acid.
The video below pretty much lays out what happened next.
