We’re going to Disneyland in a few days – the trip is Kendrick’s birthday present – and I need help please, because my head is full of visions of panicking, overheated children who must sit on our shoulders and/or heads in four-hour-long lines and who end up eating so much cotton candy that, in the throes of a madcap sugar high, they end up physically levitating off of the It’s A Small World ride. I’m also picturing accidentally parking on the Disney equivalent of Mars, and ending up accidentally boarding a shuttle that just goes around and around and around and eventually lets us off at, like, the airport. And fifty-dollar hot dogs; picturing lots of those.
I am SO EXCITED about this trip, in case that wasn’t clear from my first paragraph. Kendrick’s never been to Disneyland; I’ve only been as a four-year-old (which I don’t remember) and as a jaded adult, and I’m dying at the idea of watching Indy and Goldie experience it for the first time. (Indy has heard tell of some show where you get to actually use the – real! actual! – Force, and is freaking out about it, and my daughter, when asked if she’d like to meet Princess Aurora, declared, “No. I’M Princess Aurora.” Okay, then.)
But in preparation for this trip – because I know Disneyland can be overwhelming and expensive and stressful if you try to do too much – I’ve been lurking around on various Disney-centric blogs (yes, they exist; they’re like an entire cottage industry) to figure out the calmest and most fun way to approach the place with a two-year-old and a five-year-old. And what I have discovered is that I cannot get through these blogs without feeling like I’m reading a doctoral thesis on churros, which is not a thing I want to read.
These blogs? Have Essential Equipment Lists. Essential Equipment Lists. For a trip to an amusement park. (I clicked through that link, by the way, and discovered that Disney Experts recommend “moisture-wicking socks” and “Moleskins for your feet.”)
I do not want to pad or moisture-wick my feet. I do not want to download “MouseSavers” apps. I just want to be a normal human being who goes to Disneyland and has fun with her children, does not cry (more than once), and departs with all her limbs (essentially) intact.
Anyway, we’re going on a Monday and Tuesday during the lowest possible season (just after the start of classes for CA public schools) and staying at an AirBnB, so that’s good in terms of pricing and crowds. But oh do I ever have questions, and I have a feeling that anyone recommending moisture-wicking socks has a different attitude towards amusement park-ing than I do (my vision, as an example, includes a beer and minimal sweating). So if any of you happen to have visited the place with young children and can give me tips, I would really, really, seriously love you.
My Questions!
- This is kind of a silly question (ok, these are all silly questions), but seriously: what’s the best way to physically get to the park? I’ve been reading about shuttles and such…but we’re staying in a shuttle-less AirBnB (which is fine by me because I hate shuttles), and yet every time I try to figure out parking it says “Oh, parking’s crazy, take the shuttle.” But WE HAVE NO SHUTTLE. Is this an Uber situation? Do people cab it? Please help me not shuttle. I hate shuttles.
- If you’re with two little kids, do you bring them home midday for naps, or is going back to the hotel and then trying to reenter the park more hassle than it’s worth?
- Since roller coasters and such are obviously not on the menu…where should we hang out?
- Any food recommendations? I figure there’s a range from fast-food to fancy, and we’d probably fall somewhere in the middle: an actual table with actual seats would be nice, but the aforementioned fifty-dollar hot dog would not be.
- Finally: I just googled “child leash” as a joke and discovered that this is both a real thing that actual people do and some kind of major source of Mommy Wars, but seriously: what does one, exactly, do to keep one’s children in the general line of sight when Mickey Mouse is over here and Elsa is over there and OH MY GOD IS THAT PRINCESS AURORA?! (I have seriously considered tucking a Tile into each child’s pocket. I am also open to child-recon ideas that don’t involve tracking them via app or restraining harnesses.
(Please also be aware that I will obviously be snapping and Instagramming this trip up the wazoo (sorry), so if you don’t already follow my accounts (@ramshackleglam on both channels), now would probably be a good time because MOUSE EARS.)
