Q. My boyfriend and I just got engaged and are planning on doing a destination wedding with just us two, then one big reception back in the States for both of our families and all of our friends.
I’m wondering if a) you have any cool ideas for locations or wedding packages for our wedding, and b) what your advice would be for breaking it to our families that they aren’t invited to the ceremony – just the reception.
A. I love this idea. If a small, intimate affair is what you’re looking for this is a great way to get the wedding you want while still including your friends and family in the celebration…plus it’s a great way to cut costs if you keep the reception relatively informal.
For a destination wedding, my dream locations would be Turks & Caicos or the Greek Islands, but if you’re looking for something more affordable you might want to consider Cancun (really; if you go at any time other than Spring Break you won’t have a problem with the crazy kids, and you can get spectacular all-inclusive deals) or nearby – and slightly calmer – Cozumel (pictured above during our one-year anniversary trip; we spent quite the afternoon at Senor Frog’s). For more specific info, you might want to head over to Mary Rambin’s blog; she travels to Mexico frequently and has lots of great trip advice.
In terms of breaking it to your families that you’ll be having a private ceremony, the important thing to remember is that while your family’s feelings are of course something to be considered, this is your day, and it’s up to you how you want to do it. And besides, some of your friends and family members may be secretly relieved that you don’t expect them to purchase tickets to an exotic locale.
For most people, the invite will be sufficient to clarify what’s going on – nontraditional weddings are increasingly common these days, so it’s not like they won’t have ever heard of a couple doing this kind of thing. You don’t need to mention the ceremony at all – why bring up an event to which they’re not invited? Instead, try something like this: “_____ and _____ invite you to celebrate their recent marriage with a cocktail reception, to be held at _____.” You may get a few confused emails from those wondering where the ceremony is being held; if that happens, just tell them that you’ve decided to have a private ceremony, but are excited to celebrate the marriage with your family and friends at the reception.
You should be aware going in that some more traditional family members may be upset at the idea that they won’t be able to watch you get married, but hey: a little family drama is pretty much standard-issue for weddings, and when it comes down to it, the drama is nearly always coming from a place of love and a desire to feel included. Just keep the focus on the fun to be had at the reception – not on what an awesome time you’ll be having at the ceremony without them – and you should be good to go.
For more on Island Honeymoons and All-Inclusives, click here.
For more on Wedding Drama, click here.
