The word on the street is that the best part of visiting your parents’ house is the refrigerator. It tends to be stocked with fruits and vegetables and fancy cheeses that parents of adults can afford because they no longer have to afford children, plus all sorts of wonderful leftovers from meals that you did not have to make yourself.
Except if you have my parents, in which case the refrigerator contains a tub of margarine, two drawers full of different types of birdseed that will hopefully bring more joy into the life of an extremely anxious parrot, and a half-full jar of capers. It’s very appetizing. (It’s also my fault, because a few months ago I introduced my parents to Blue Apron, and now they don’t cook anything else. Whenever they aren’t making Blue Apron, they’re having dinner at the restaurant next door. Or, I don’t know, maybe they’re eating bird food. I can’t be certain.)
Rummaging in my parents’ refrigerator is no fun at all. Rummaging in my mom’s makeup drawer, however? Tons of fun. Because my mother is the kind of person who, when approached by a salesperson in the makeup department of Saks Fifth Avenue who tells her she’d look absolutely gorgeous in a Brand X’s new lipstick/face cream/eyeliner/magical anti-aging dragon dust – here, sit down and let me show you!, says “Ooh! Sure!”
