Parenting Guilt

DIARY

From WAHM To SAHM…Sort Of

How amaze is my new crafting room?!?!?!?

hahahahahahaha 

As of today, our childcare situation has shifted pretty dramatically. For the past couple of years, we've employed a part-time nanny to watch our daughter in the mornings (while our son is at school), and then occasionally watch both children in the afternoons, whenever my wildly inconsistent work schedule requires. But over the past couple of months we've realized that Goldie is clearly ready for preschool, which means that both kids are now out of the house until early afternoon - and beyond the prohibitive expense of paying for nanny + preschool (nope), I just felt like I could...make this work. Somehow. I can get most, if not all, of my work done in the morning, then pick up the kids and get to have afternoons with them.

DIARY

Our Very Own Superheroes

Us, 2014

I woke up around 1AM on Sunday night and stumbled out towards the living room, where I found Kendrick setting the alarm and  getting ready to come to bed. "Hey," he said. "Why are you up?"

I pointed at our son's closed bedroom door. "I wanted to go lay down with him," I said.

Anxiety

Why I Drive

In the apple trees | Somewhere on I-5

I get asked about this (ancient) sweater all the time, and fiiinally found a similar one.

Whenever I make the drive down to L.A. - as I have at least once every two months since we moved to San Jose - I make up excuses to explain why I'm going. This time, for example, my excuses were: 1) I have a couple of meetings scheduled, 2) Francesca and I always have our own little mini-holiday celebration together, and 3) I just took a "special trip" with Goldie, and wanted to give Indy a special trip of his own.

Anxiety

On The Road (Again)

st louis television shoot on set

That's a wrap on St. Louis!

I've spent a ton of time this summer with my cohost for the project I'm working on. Together we drag suitcases down hotel corridors, crawl into Suburbans for five seconds of sweet, sweet air conditioning, and commiserate over our mutual dislike of the straight-from-a-box scrambled eggs that hotel chains all over the country offer up in their "delicious! complimentary! breakfast bar!" We also talk and talk and talk, because that's what you do when you're hanging around on a set all day.

My cohost is more of a veteran of television work (and the associated travel schedule) than I am, so I've been picking his brain for hints about what life will look like should our project continue beyond this summer - basically, should our show get picked up for series and should neither of us get replaced (something I won't know for a couple of months at least). I ask question after question...but whenever I hear his descriptions of "life on the road" I feel my heart rate speed up. He talks about evenings spent perched on top of washing machines in Holiday Inn basements because you're fresh out of clean clothing. About waking up and not being entirely sure what city you're in. About weeks going by without a single glimpse of home. These words don't just "bum me out" - they put me into pure fight or flight mode.


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