Love the look, but methinks the coat is only cute on Gigi.

There are few things more fun than looking at truly terrible interpretations of the latest runway trends. Below, a few of my personal favorite you-probably-should-not-wear-this finds from the new spring arrivals...plus a take on each trend that you might actually be into (just click the "Shop" button under each image to see how I'd wear the look).

 MommyNearest says you should buy The Big Fat Activity Book For Pregnant People "the very first day you see a pink line on the pee test." (I have to agree.)

 I would like to own this bikini, please. (Free shipping!)

 Party goals. (This Little Girl Wanted A Poop-Themed Party, So Her Parents Threw Her One, via HuffPo.)

The stories behind all my tattoos are here, if you're interested.

I'm not particularly feeling a new tattoo at the moment - I went through a rash of tattoo-and-piercing-getting a few months back, and think I probably need to slow it down for a minute - but I'm always thinking about what I might want my next one to be. And since my birthday gift to my dad was a session with an amazing NYC tattoo artist (which ahem ahem ahem I kind of thought was the coolest gift ever), I spent a lot of time scrolling around on the internet helping him search for ideas. In the process, I found oh, so many ones that weren't quiiiiite what Dad had in mind - he ended up going for a fine-line drawing of his 1963 Fender bass guitar - but that I saved to my Pinterest anyway. You know, for later.

...And now I kind of want a new tattoo.

Davenport, CA

I remember very, very distinctly the first time our son touched grass, because it did not go well. He was already six months old - because he was born in October, and we live in New York City, and grass-touching isn't an especially popular pastime during the winter months - so once spring hit we immediately packed up a picnic blanket and popped a tiny fedora on his head and set out with our friends to spend the afternoon watching our son revel in all that glorious grass.

Turned out he hated grass. And sand. And water. And any other naturally-occurring underfoot texture (although he would happily toddle barefoot down the sidewalk, crushing shards of glass and discarded cigarettes under his tiny toes). As a native New Yorker myself, I get this. Grass is creepy, yo. There are so many things that could be in it: needles, broken beer bottles, bugs. Yesterday I saw a two-inch-long slug sitting on my front step, and then a few minutes later it wasn't there.