Lifestyle

Just Go Buy This Jacket OK?

December 1, 2017

I went to the mall the other day for a very specific reason: to get a new prescription from Lenscrafters, because I feel like my eyes are becoming increasingly decrepit and it's time for new glasses.

I was NOT there to shop. I am 99% done with my Christmas shopping because that is literally the one thing in my life that I am always spectacularly on top of, and I am broke from house renovations, and besides: actually shopping in shopping malls gives me a headache (I prefer to visit them for the purpose of sitting in a dark room for a couple of hours with the biggest bucket of popcorn possible). And I REALLY was not there to shop at Hollister, because Hollister stores make me feel old (whyyyyyyyy must the music be so loud?).

Lifestyle

All I Do Is Win, Win, Win, Win, Win

December 1, 2017

At some point, I think it is crucial that we recognize the limits of our parenting, embrace them, and act accordingly.

One way to do this: by opening the refrigerator, observing the vast quantity of potential dinner ingredients therein...and then shutting the door, turning on the oven, and making pizza (and calling the tomato sauce on top of it a vegetable because CLEARLY it is, and also everybody loves pizza and so nobody fights about what’s for dinner and for a single glorious moment, life is calm).

(Also please go ahead and serve that pizza on paper plates because kids do not appreciate pretty dishes and also do not wash them unless they are of sink-reaching height and more amenable to the concept of chores than oh, say, my children.)

Lifestyle

Gift Ideas For White Elephant Parties

November 30, 2017

OK, last gift guide, promise. (This one was too much fun.)

I went to my very first White Elephant party two Christmases ago. I had no idea what a White Elephant party even was, and when the hostess explained that everyone brings a (usually semi-weird or offbeat) wrapped gift to contribute to a common pool, and then you all take turns selecting (and stealing) each other's gift, I was all "okayyyyy...I guess I'll bring a...selfie stick?" <facepalm>

Do not bring a selfie stick. A selfie stick is the actual lamest thing that you can bring to a White Elephant party. The below ideas are better.

Lifestyle

Gift Ideas For Impossible-To-Shop-For People

November 29, 2017

...Unless there's a mansion in that box I'm not sure what you expect me to do with it.

OK, so I admit it: I have, from time to time, been told that this is the category into which I fall. What can I say? I have extremely specific tastes. (You could also call them "annoying"; that would be valid, as well.)

If there's someone like me on your list, here's my suggestion: steer away from clothing, perfume, jewelry (unless it's from catbird; everybody likes the jewelry from catbird), and anything that requires you to communicate an understanding of their personal style, because what will happen is you will not do it right. (Picky people are the worst.)

Decor

Current Obsession: Hearth & Hand with Magnolia (#NotAnAd)

November 28, 2017

Give me all the sweetly rustic gorgeousness.

The other day, I stopped into Target to buy a pair of ballet tights for my daughter, and then accidentally spent three hundred dollars.

(This happens literally - LITERALLY - every single time I "just run into Target real quick, just for one thing," and by now I should know better, but apparently I do not.) This time, the culprit was a new line called "Hearth & Hand with Magnolia" (created in collaboration with the Fixer-Upper couple), but you know what? In this case I am A-OK with having been ambushed by galvanized metal and faux reclaimed wood, because the inside of my house is now as festive and adorable as the outside, and I sort of feel like a superhero for having picked up pieces this good for prices this ridiculously low. (I'm also aware that I'm a huge sucker; no need to remind me of the The Man's scheming ways.)

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