Click here to check out all six of my gift guides. They'll be up until December 24, and new ideas are added daily, so keep coming back!
Gift Guides for Parent People, Persnickety People, and People Who Are Super-Sick Of Talking About Politics
Lifestyle
My Holiday Party Dress Search: A Mission That Failed
Here's what I wore to my friend's holiday party last weekend: a black velvet Betsey Johnson jumpsuit from 1998 that I stole from my mom, a black wrap coat I found at Zara that I can't wear without everyone asking me whether I'm wearing a robe, Gwen Stefani-circa-1992 buns, and black lipstick.
It was a Goth-themed holiday party, in case you can't tell; which was wonderful for lots of reasons, one of which was that I didn't have to go shopping for a holiday party dress - because of all the looks in the world, Goth is one I have a decent amount of familiarity with thanks to about three years in the '90s when I thought Fairuza Balk's character in The Craft was pretty much as cool as it gets.
So I didn't need a holiday dress for that party. But I have a few events coming up in the next couple of weeks, including a little cocktail party I'm hosting for stella and dot at my place, and I'd like to look festive-ish. Perhaps some sparkles. Red? Maybe a fancy neckline? ...Heels? (Probably a no on that last one, but you never know.)
Just Go Buy This Jacket OK?
I went to the mall the other day for a very specific reason: to get a new prescription from Lenscrafters, because I feel like my eyes are becoming increasingly decrepit and it's time for new glasses.
I was NOT there to shop. I am 99% done with my Christmas shopping because that is literally the one thing in my life that I am always spectacularly on top of, and I am broke from house renovations, and besides: actually shopping in shopping malls gives me a headache (I prefer to visit them for the purpose of sitting in a dark room for a couple of hours with the biggest bucket of popcorn possible). And I REALLY was not there to shop at Hollister, because Hollister stores make me feel old (whyyyyyyyy must the music be so loud?).
All I Do Is Win, Win, Win, Win, Win
At some point, I think it is crucial that we recognize the limits of our parenting, embrace them, and act accordingly.
One way to do this: by opening the refrigerator, observing the vast quantity of potential dinner ingredients therein...and then shutting the door, turning on the oven, and making pizza (and calling the tomato sauce on top of it a vegetable because CLEARLY it is, and also everybody loves pizza and so nobody fights about what’s for dinner and for a single glorious moment, life is calm).
(Also please go ahead and serve that pizza on paper plates because kids do not appreciate pretty dishes and also do not wash them unless they are of sink-reaching height and more amenable to the concept of chores than oh, say, my children.)
Gift Ideas For White Elephant Parties
OK, last gift guide, promise. (This one was too much fun.)
I went to my very first White Elephant party two Christmases ago. I had no idea what a White Elephant party even was, and when the hostess explained that everyone brings a (usually semi-weird or offbeat) wrapped gift to contribute to a common pool, and then you all take turns selecting (and stealing) each other's gift, I was all "okayyyyy...I guess I'll bring a...selfie stick?" <facepalm>
Do not bring a selfie stick. A selfie stick is the actual lamest thing that you can bring to a White Elephant party. The below ideas are better.
