This is not me, obviously, but given the sweatshirt-and-no-pants vibe, it totally could be.
My luggage situation, I think we can all agree, is completely unacceptable. I'm not even talking about the "not arriving at the desired location, ever" part; at the moment I'm specifically referring to the physical luggage itself.
Which is terrible.
Now that's how you dress for a flight.
In the past few days, a few posts have popped up on my newsfeed with “insider tips” from flight attendants; namely, tips on how to be the kind of passenger who gets upgraded. And because today marked the first time I have traveled sans children in a good long while - and you know nobody with kids is going anywhere except the very back of the plane - I figured what better time to do a little experiment and see if I could score myself a few hours of free food and extra recline?
Caveat: I am a Delta Skymiles member, so I have to assume that factors into upgrade decisions. But I’m only a Silver - which really isn’t that big a deal - and I’ve never been upgraded before, so frequent flier status, in this case, doesn’t feel like a game-changer to me.
Being someone who has suffered from chronic anxiety for well over a decade and who is writing a humor book about anxiety is a bizarre experience. So much of what I've gone through has been decidedly less-than-funny, but now, as part of the writing process, I've been scrolling back through old posts I've written on the topic with a new perspective. I mean, I hallucinated tiny banana-shaped people sitting in my linen closet and telling me they could help me sleep. (True story.)
Come on. That's funny.
But re-reading these posts is doing something else: it's making me remember just how rough that (extremely long) time period was, because it's easy for me - a person who is now capable of sleeping through the night without bolting straight up in bed at 3AM, wide-awake and sobbing because DEATH IS REAL - to forget how out of control my life used to feel, because I simply couldn't rely on my own brain to do what I wanted it to do.
I wore this outfit for far too many hours in a row while traveling last week, thanks to the absent luggage situation. Fortunately, these cashmere sweatpants (thanks, mom :) are really good. And Drew Barrymore makes them! Weird. (Also pictured: Lo & Sons Seville Laptop Tote; completely perfect Hollister long-sleeved tee.)
I hate cold butter. Kendrick hates when I leave butter on the counter so it's not cold. PROBLEM SOLVED. (Seriously this thing is amazing and you need to own it. Plus it's French!)
The director of Moonlight got drunk on a plane and live-tweeted Notting Hill while watching it over the shoulder of the passenger in front of him. (It's as good as you think.)
Ow.
Because I know you're dying to know: Did we make it back home with all our luggage?
NOPE.
