I'll be alone this New Year's Eve, for the first time I can remember. I think for the first time ever, actually. I'm okay with that; I swear - Kendrick has always cared way more about New Year's than I do, and I never want to stay up until midnight anyway, so it just makes sense for the kids to go to his place for the weekend. Besides, even in "normal" years, oh my god do I ever not want to go out on New Year's - just the thought of it makes me want to nap.
But there's another reason I'm not only "okay" with being on my own, but rather actively looking forward to it.
When Kendrick and I divorced, I realized very quickly that I did not know how to be single. I’d moved fairly seamlessly from relationship to relationship my entire adult life (with a year-long foray into casual dating in my mid-twenties that I somehow survived, but probably shouldn’t have), so when my marriage ended I found myself completely at sea, and wanted someone – anyone – to save me. I wasn't sure I knew how to make myself feel better all on my own, because I’d never really had to do it.