Excuse me...what?

It turns out - according to this article on home remedies that really work - that a spoonful of sugar swallowed dry cures hiccups (or at least it did in 19 out of 20 patients in a 1971 study that...well, seriously? Did we not have time to take this one for another spin in the past 40 years?). According to some gastroenterologist they interviewed for the article, it's because the sugar "is probably acting in the mouth to modify the nervous impulses that would otherwise tell the muscles in the diaphragm to contract spasmodically." Ok, whatever.

But I hate hiccups.

You hate hiccups.