Yesterday afternoon I had all sorts of elaborate post ideas percolating and was just about to sit down and start writing, except then a massive crew of men and machinery arrived to destroy my driveway and replace it with a series of ten-foot-deep holes (but not before charging me $3,500.00 for the pleasure!). And my plans changed. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about re: the $3,500.00 disaster, oh please go to my Snapchat.)

And this morning I have a follow-up appointment at my dermatologist to determine whether or not the large and creepy rash on both of my feet means that they're about to fall off, or whether I might just be in the need of some extra-strength cocoa butter.

If how the last appointment went is any indication, I'm in for an exciting morning.

My (single, with no children) friend Billy posted the best rant on Facebook the other day. "Dear All Parents with 'Elf On The Shelf,'" he wrote, "Make that shit a priority. I don't want to hear any more whining about 'I forgot...' or 'I'm a bad parent.' Pretty soon your kids won't believe in Santa Claus and his annoying little elves, and it's your job to make them wonder. It's like 24 days. Suck it up. I still believe in Santa, and I'm 35."

FIIIIIIINE.

I mean, don't get me wrong: I love Elf on the Shelf season. But I also have a tendency to pass out in my daughter's toddler-sized bed while "snuggling for a minute" and then wake up three hours later with my eyelids mascara-ed shut, at which point I commence the shuffle towards my own bed only to be shaken awake by my brain, who is yelling at me to MOVE THE ELF SO YOU DON'T DESTROY THE MAGIC.

Even in the rain, Christmas in NYC is lovely (image via)

I just realized that I've been in New York City for a week now, and have barely even mentioned it (although I've been Instagramming and Snapchatting the bejeesus out of this trip, per usual). I flew in mostly because my aunt Trudy (who lives in a part of Canada that's extremely difficult and expensive to get to from San Jose) has never met Goldie, and so I used miles to fly to the city during a time when she was planning to be there visiting my mom.

One of the more exciting things that happened this week was that Erin and I met up with our editors at Penguin Random House to discuss the details of our book launch in the spring (The Big Fat Activity Book for Pregnant People officially comes out on April 25, although it's available for preorder now). We'll be doing events on both coasts, so I'll keep you guys posted in case you'd like to swing by for pickles and ice cream and hugs and such. And! And and and! We also found out that the book is being picked up for publication in the U.K., France, and Poland - which means that there's a decent chance that Erin and I will end up hanging out in Britain at some point early next year. Tea and crumpets! Adorable London boutiques! HOTEL BEDS.