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Reader Question / Marking A Milestone

Q. Hi Jordan,

I am writing to you because I really love some of the stuff you post and I need some help on something. I want to buy myself a gift – possibly a piece of jewelry.  It can be simple or ornate but I am looking for something somewhat unique.

Backstory:

Last March, I began the long and arduous journey of getting sober. I went through a really rough time last winter that left me destitute – no boyfriend, friends, or place to live. My drinking and partying had been out of control for a number of years and I finally couldn’t do it anymore.  For the past year, I have lived my life differently…Every day, I have woken up and remembered to be kind to myself, to choose better people in my life, to help friends, to tell people I love them, and to do things out of self-love.

These are silly everyday things that most people don’t have to think about but to me, they have changed my life…I have amazing friends, a studio apartment in my name, people in my life who love me, coworkers who respect me, family who supports me, and most of all – myself. I have become the person I always wanted to be.

So that being said, I want to buy something special for my year anniversary.  Something I can wear that will remind me of everything I have been through but also expresses gratitude and self-love. A small reminder to live my life humbly and with kindness.

Any thoughts or suggestions on websites to look at for something of this nature?  I would like to keep the price under $200.

Thank you so much for your time!

- Anonymous

A. Hi there,

First, let me offer you a very heartfelt congratulations; what enormous strength it must have taken for you to get yourself to where you are now. I would be honored to help you pick something out.

My first thought was a coin necklace to evoke the coins that AA hands out to mark milestones. A few options:

First, this Lost Treasure Necklace (Silver with Diamonds; $180) – perhaps you could ask the designer if she could customize it with a single diamond to symbolize your year of sobriety?

I also love the simplicity of this gold coin with a single diamond ($185).

Another idea: rings with single gemstones that you can stack as you pass significant milestones. Above, from top left: Pink Sapphire ($160); Yellow Sapphire ($140); Small Diamond ($110).

If silver’s more your style, this shop has gorgeous “twig rings” with different gemstones (and there are lots of options under $200). From left: White Sapphire Twig ($185); Yellow Sapphire Twig ($185)

And a few more ideas:

French Scroll Pendant ($160) engraved with the words “Be True To Yourself.”

Wings & Halo Pendant in silver and bronze ($165).

My personal favorite: the “Life Without Limits” Pendant ($75), engraved with a quote from Virgil: “Fortune favors the brave.”

All the best to you,

Jordan

Email reprinted with reader permission.



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  • Anonymous

    So, substituting shopping addiction for substance addiction? No.

  • Anonymous

    i couldn’t disagree more. of course it is easy to substitute one addiction for another, so that’s definitely something to watch out for…but that’s not what this sounds like to me in the slightest. an important part of recovery, as i understand it, is taking stock of how far you’ve come and what it took to get you there, and by acknowledging your progress in whatever way feels right to you. that’s what the AA tokens are all about – they serve as tangible markers of your journey, and reminders to keep going. in our society, important occasions (birthdays, anniversaries, etc) are often associated with drinking, and these personal mementos help those in recovery to associate noteworthy events with far healthier traditions. people often purchase gifts for themselves to commemorate big achievements in their life (a big birthday, or perhaps a raise) – what better achievement to commemorate than the willful choice of life over death?

  • http://twitter.com/dianeshipley Diane Shipley

    What an honour to be asked, and you picked out some lovely things, Jordan. (I like the “twig rings” a lot.) This seems like the opposite of conspicuous consumption/addictive spending to me; it’s conscious and celebratory.