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P.S.

I didn’t really know what to write in my next post after the one I wrote Friday night. I said what I wanted to say, and I won’t be talking about this anymore; the rest is for me to keep. But I didn’t know how to handle it, and I’m not sure I handled it quite right, because I didn’t just wake up, make salads and pastas, and go to a party, and so it feels like that post was in some ways a lie.

The truth wasn’t nearly as simple as that. The truth was – is – much worse. But once I got to the shower I was with people I hadn’t seen in years, celebrating the marriage of one of my oldest friends, someone I love very much…and it was simpler, then. I didn’t have to pretend to be happy; I just was happy. To see how excited my friend was, to be there with her.

It just wasn’t as simple as it sounded. I don’t know what else to say.



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May 15th, 2011 | Posted by Jordan | Lifestyle | 6 Comments »

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=706242537 Valerie Moore

     You don’t have to say anything. The relationship you have with your readers is wonderful; I love that you have such a friendly, generous way of writing to us. It feels personal. But that doesn’t mean you have to answer to us or explain yourself when you don’t know how to address a personal issue on your blog. The fact is, you don’t have to address it at all, and if you do, you may address it in any way you like. It’s YOUR blog, and it’s YOUR life. And I think you’re doing just fine. 

    I’m very sorry to hear about your friend. I wish there were something that would make it okay, but unfortunately, there isn’t. Just remember you’ll start feeling better over time. I’m reminded of this video – I found it about a year after my Dad died, and I think it explains the grief process over time just about perfectly.

    http://www.slatev.com/video/interviews-50-cents-brick-in-your-pocket/

  • Anonymous

    thank you so much, valerie.

  • http://barnardbabyblog.tumblr.com Adrienne

    That’s exactly how grief works. I’m thinking about you as you process it all.

  • Anonymous

    did someone say something? i didn’t notice anything odd or inappropriate, made complete sense why you’d be celebrating with a friend even with the loss of another friend

  • Annmariemcqueen

    Anyone who has been through it would understand… Life goes on, and often immediately, when bad stuff happens. Grief is so, so complicated. You can be at the bedside of a person you love, who is dying, with both of you laughing so hard you cry. You can be deeply sad, yet lifted and okay in the company of others. You can seem and actually be okay, but not at all ok – you know what I mean? Years from now there might be a moment that you will see something and out of the blue miss your friend so much it feels like it just happened yesterday. You gave an awesome tribute to your friend and then, as the Brits say, you got on with it because you are a pro, and you had to. Sending you good thoughts. AM

  • Anonymous

    thanks annemarie :)