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Hm.

I’m not sure last night’s bread-making experiment was entirely successful.

Here’s the thing: if you’ve been reading here for awhile, you know I have a ludicrously spotty history with baking of any kind. Sometimes it works…sometimes it really, really doesn’t. And there’s no big mystery here; I know why my baking experiments don’t always (ok, don’t usually) turn out as planned, and the answer is that I’m a lazy mess when it comes to using for-real measuring devices. I figure, hey, that looks more or less like a cup of milk…I’m sure it’ll be fine.

And do I learn my lesson?

I do not! Because I believe that the power of positive thinking can conquer even basic chemistry. (Or, fine: it’s probably more the aforementioned lazy mess thing.)

I much prefer the world of cooking, where you can just use your hands to add a pinch of this and a dash of that, and chances are things will turn out OK. With baking…well, you can’t do that. Precision is everything.

I hate that.

The first (and only, until last night) time I ever tried to make bread was in high school: I had just gotten interested in cooking and got it in my head that I would make these honey rolls to serve for a dinner party, and that everyone would be very overwhelmed and impressed by my bread-making genius. And then, once I had finished preparing the dough and set it in a bowl to rise, I realized that I had forgotten a little step called “adding the yeast.” I figured hey, no big deal…and just went ahead and mushed a bunch of yeast into the dough anyway.

Guess what? That doesn’t work.

The results of that experiment closely resembled little honey-flavored cement meatballs.

And so I gave up on making my own bread. I mean, that’s what Pepperidge Farm is for, amirite?

Except then, during college, I went to visit my boyfriend’s family in Canada, and his mother whipped out a hot, homemade loaf of brown bread for dinner, and it was one of the most delicious things I’d ever tasted, to the point where I was sort of embarrassed at the percentage that I took down all on my own. She told me that she had used a bread machine to make it, and that it was ridiculously easy and foolproof, and ever since then I’ve fantasized about having one and whipping up fresh loaves of my own.

And then! Kendrick’s parents served bread from a bread machine over Thanksgiving, and I freaked out over it so much that they took pity on me and gave me a beautiful Cuisinart for Christmas.

Last night, around 6PM (because guess who didn’t check the instructions first, which would have revealed that the process is a 3 hour+ one?) I got started with the Oatmeal Bread recipe, and the process is so weird-easy (literally, just pile in the ingredients in the order listed and press “start”) that I found it very hard to believe that it would result in actual bread.

It…kind of did. I don’t know that I would call this “bread”, exactly.

Maybe “extremely pale and dense, slightly undercooked, alien-shaped bread-like substance”? In any case, I’m fairly certain that this wasn’t the intended result.

I have no idea what I did wrong. Kendrick thought it was all very funny (yes yes, ha ha). I mean, I chose “Light” for the crust color, so I think that’s where the albino thing came from, but other than that…I don’t know.

But I am not giving up! I will conquer The Bread.

Help?



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January 4th, 2013 | Posted by Jordan | Eat | 17 Comments »
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  • http://www.jenelle.net/ Jenelle

    Good try!

    I think the problem is that you haven’t used rapid rise yeast – which is better for bread machine bread.

    We are somewhat baking purists (with a tiny kitchen) so no bread machine. If you do end up making the change over from baking with a machine to baking by hand – the recipe will change.. :)

    I hope that helps! :) Keep us posted! :) :)

  • Jennifer

    OMG! I just got the exact same bread machine for Chanukah this year. I, too, have failed in my attempts to make homemade bread and have been fantasizing about just whipping together homemade loaves with a bread machine. On Tuesday, I made my first loaf – a honey whole wheat – and it came out remarkably similar to your picture. It was sorta mishapen and lumpy and very dense. It wasn’t bad and we’ve eaten it in sandwiches and with soup, but it was definitely not what I expected. WI did use rapid rise yeast, like Jenelle below suggested. Who knows. But, like you I am determined to conquer The Bread.

    Good luck!

  • jordanreid

    ah hah! maybe that’s it!

  • suez35

    Hi Jordan, yeasty bread can be such a fickle mistress! My mom’s OG bread machine churned out a lot of deliciousness over the years, and her tips are to use 1) warm (like body temp) water, NEVER too hot b/c you’d kill the yeast; 2) put the ingredients in the directed order – i.e., salt with the water first, then flour, finally yeast on top of the flour (in a little divot preferably).

    I think the water temp may have been an issue here – too hot and you kill the yeast, too cold and the yeast doesn’t bloom properly.

    Don’t lose heart in your pursuit of freshly baked carbs!

  • http://www.thedailyjulie.com Julie

    Jordan!!!! I can help you. I have this exact same bread machine (got it last year for Christmas), and I use a recipe created by my great Uncle Tony. It turns out the most perfect basic white bread ever. I will get it to you this weekend.

  • jordanreid

    amazing! thank you!

  • trybecca

    Jordan,

    I use my bread machine to mix & proof the dough, but then bake it in a preheated dutch oven (cast iron or le crueset) following the Tartine cookbook baking method – – you will be amazed!!!

    Bake the Bread: Twenty minutes before you are ready to bake the bread, preheat oven to 500 degrees, with rack in lowest position, and warm a 9 1/2-inch round or an 11-inch oval Dutch oven (or a heavy ovenproof pot with a tight-fitting lid).
    11. Turn out 1 round into heated Dutch oven (it may stick to towel slightly). Score top twice using a razor blade or a sharp knife. Cover with lid. Return to oven, and reduce oven temperature to 450 degrees. Bake for 20 minutes.

    12. Carefully remove lid (a cloud of steam will be released). Bake until crust is deep golden brown, 20 to 25 minutes more.

    13. Transfer loaf to a wire rack. It will feel light and sound hollow when tapped. Let cool.

    Happy to come do a tutorial on bread making anytime – or maybe you would join me at Le Pain Quotidien one Saturday for a class??

    Best wishes,
    Rebecca

  • Rain Mikajlo

    i second the rapid rise yeast, too. did you use vital wheat gluten? it will give the bread more height next time. and use non-iodized salt bc it inhibits the yeast. like trybecca though, i think it’s best to just use the machine for mixing and proofing and baking separately.

  • http://www.thedailyjulie.com Julie

    Alright lady, here ya go:

    Uncle Tony’s Bread:

    9 1/2 oz HOT water
    2 Tbsp butter
    1 1/2 tsp salt
    2 1/2 C flour (made for bread)
    2 1/2 Tbsp sugar
    2 Tbsp powdered milk
    1 tsp yeast

    Put all ingredients in bread machine in the order listed. Set bread machine on 1 1/2 loaf, medium crust.

    A few things to note:
    1. My uncle Tony is adamant about it being 9 and a HALF ounces of hot water. I’m not too careful about this and it turns out fine.

    2. If I’m going to set the bread machine on a delay, I’ll add an extra 1/2 tsp of yeast.

    3. This is a really great basic white bread recipe. If you want dinner rolls, just remove dough before bake cycle, form into balls and bake in the oven. Likewise, it makes great cinnamon rolls! Just roll out dough, add a generous amount of butter, sugar and cinnamon, roll it up, slice into rounds and put in greased pan to bake (I usually do the temp at 375 and back 15-20 minutes or until golden brown).

    Enjoy! It’s perfect every time.

  • jordanreid

    Thank you!!! Is there any particular type of yeast you’re supposed to use?

  • http://twitter.com/uxwendy Wendy Johansson

    My first few (dozens? haha) of bread turned out weird, lumpy and sometimes made nice abstract paperweights. After a few years of bread machine ownership, here’s what I’ve learned:

    1. There’s a certain order to add the ingredients, usually liquids first, then stir in yeast + sugars into the liquids, “seal” (cover the liquid completely) with flour, then top with salt. The salt and yeast shouldn’t be touching during the initial kneading because of some reactions where salt can deactivate the yeast.

    2. 100-110*F water is the perfect water temperature and it *does* matter. For 1 cup of water, that’s 30 seconds in the microwave. Too cold and it water won’t activate the yeast. Too hot and it’ll kill the yeast.

    3. Like everyone else said, rapid rise yeast is the way to go! Just make sure it is fresh. I bought a giant brick of this stuff from Costco and 9 months later, our bread was flat again… I threw it out and bought another giant brick. It’s $4 for a giant brick that lasts 9 months vs. $4 for 3 little packets of the Fleishmann’s stuff at the grocer :)

    4. I’ve borrowed dozens of bread machine cookbooks from the library and tried even more recipes from online blogs/sites. In the end, there is one go-to book that I use and revere for perfect bread every time: “The Artisan Bread Machine” by Judith Fertig. There are also buns, pizzas, foccacias and other fun bread machine bakes! It’s super simple and completely worth the $15!

    Hope that’ll help in addition to your other commenters! Good luck and btw you have a new loyal reader :)

  • jordanreid

    This is so helpful, thank you!!! (And thank you for reading :)

  • sublimare .

    Someone helped me out on this too…before that all my bread turned out exactly like your picture. I like Fleischmann’s Bread Machine yeast (basically the same as instant/rapid rise) in the jar so it stays fresher in the fridge than the cakes and envelopes and I can just dip out a spoonful when I need it. I occasionally have had a bad batch in the envelopes, but I’ve never had yeast in the jar turn out to be a dud. Perfect water temp can be achieved by bringing some water to boil in the tea kettle and using about a 1:2 ratio of boiled water to tap water (i.e. for 1 1/2 cups of water, take a cup straight from the tap and then add a 1/2 cup of boiled water.) Pour it in the bottom, then add your sugar/honey, oil, and salt to the water. You do not need to stir. (the water will be just slightly too hot, but by the time you’ve added everything and turned on your machine it will be the perfect temperature.) Dump your flour on top of that so it is sitting on top of the water so that you cannot see any of it, thus keeping your yeast dry and separated from the salt and hot water. The divot is key, just make a shallow quarter-sized well in the very center of the flour and pour your yeast in it. Go against what your common sense would tell you about mixing things together, sprinkling the yeast evenly across the top, or otherwise helping the process along. My friend told me to consider my bread machine as a mother trying to make dinner and myself the toddler “helping mommy cook”. The less you do to ‘help out’, the better the bread turns out. Good luck on your next batch!

  • http://www.thedailyjulie.com Julie

    I use the fleishman’s yeast that comes in a jar and says it’s for bread machine use. Store it in the fridge after opening so it stays fresher longer.

  • jordanreid

    “You are a toddler helping mommy cook” – love that advice!

  • jordanreid

    i didn’t know Le Pain Quotidien offered classes! How fun! It might be tough to get into the city on a Saturday morning, but I’d definitely like to learn more.

  • trybecca

    Jordan -

    Here is the monthly schedule – congrats on the successful loaf!

    http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/calendar/monthview?eso=001yGXPaO1MT1WVa50D4gJjdA&llr=ulbxs7dab

    Rebecca