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First-Time Home Buying: Our Experience

A caveat, before I begin. I am not an expert at any of this stuff; nor am I a licensed attorney, broker, finance-type person, or anything of the sort. So if I get anything major wrong (or if you’d just like to add your own experiences), please go ahead and comment below.

I am, however, someone who has been going through this for nearly two years now, and I have had what both my broker and bank loan officer have referred to separately as the hardest time they’ve ever seen anyone have buying a home. (Really.)

When I started this process I knew literally not one single thing about how one goes about buying their first home, and now I know…kind of a lot, actually. And I think it’s a valuable thing to hear about how it all goes down from someone who, for better or for worse, is just a normal person trying to figure out how to do this so-called “normal” thing.

So: here’s how it went down for us (it’s actually still going down – we haven’t closed quite yet), and what we learned along the way.

1. SAVING UP

First, let’s talk savings, because planning for such a large purchase is key.

A couple of years ago, we decided that we wanted to start trying for a baby and set a goal of moving out of the city and purchasing a home sometime during the year following the baby’s birth. To do this, of course, we’d need to save up for a down payment, closing costs, and random assorted home-buying expenses, and also make sure that we were able to accommodate the cost-of-living increases that come along with home ownership (for example, homeowners insurance and home repairs). Excel spreadsheets became our very best friend.

Our savings strategy was simple, and worked for us:

1) We set up an automatic weekly transfer from our checking account to our savings account (a smallish number, but one we knew we would be comfortable with).

2) Since my income fluctuates from month to month while Kendrick’s stays the same, we figured out the amount we needed me to contribute in order for us to cover our expenses, and then put anything I made above that amount into our savings account. Did we do this perfectly? Nope; we definitely pulled funds out of savings from time to time, when we had large or unexpected expenses. But overall, this worked really well, and resulted in us being able to save up what we needed over the course of about a year and a half.

2. GETTING A LOAN

After setting up a savings strategy, the next step is to figure out what you can afford. Get thee to a bank, and chat with a loan officer.

Figuring out “what you can afford” actually means two things:

1. What can you actually afford to pay every month?

The rule, when buying a home, is to look for a property priced at 2.5x your gross income, but this rule didn’t really work for us because I’m self-employed, and my income fluctuates. What we did: took the average of my monthly income over the course of a year, reduced it by 1/3 so that we were being conservative, and then added that number to Kendrick’s monthly income to arrive at a safe estimate of what we could afford.

Remember, though: Houses cost more than just your principal and interest (a mortgage calculator can help you figure out what your monthly payments will be based on the purchase price). Home ownership expenses include, but are not limited to, the following:

- Up-front costs (down payment, closing costs, etc)

- Moving costs

- Insurance

- Furnishings

- Home improvements (a fixer-upper may sound romantic, but there may be a significant outlay of cash in the first few months – more on this below)

2. What does the bank think that you can afford?

For most people, the bank loan will be a (relatively) accurate indicator of what they can “actually” afford. Not so for us: banks put enormous hurdles in place for self-employed people in search of a loan, which I suppose makes sense considering the uncertainties involved in self-employment.

What it came down to was that we were only eligible for a much smaller loan than what we could actually afford based on a conservative estimate of our combined average monthly income. How we handled this: we asked Kendrick’s parents to co-sign on our loan, which they were kind enough to do (it creates liability for them in the event that we default on payments), and we made sure to only look at homes that we could “actually” afford, not that the bank now “thought” that we could afford.

In short: even if the bank declares you eligible for a certain dollar amount, try to confine your search to properties that you feel certain that you’ll be comfortable making the payments on.

If you’re a first-time buyer, you may be eligible for an FHA loan: this is good (because you only have to make a down payment of 3.5% as opposed to, say, 10%), and also in some ways not good (some buyers may be wary of selling to you because of all the additional things that the bank makes you do to secure your loan). (More on this below.)

3. TAXES AND TAXES AND TAXES

Taxes make a huge difference. What do I mean by this?

1. You will enjoy lots of lovely tax benefits as a home-owner.

In short, you can deduct mortgage interest payments (which comprise the bulk of your payments at the start of a 30-year loan) and property taxes from your income tax. See an accountant to help you figure out how to determine how these savings will affect your potential purchase price.

2. Property taxes make a huge difference when it comes to monthly payments.

When we first started looking at houses, I basically ignored fluctuations in property taxes and looked only at the listing price for the homes, figuring, you know, how big of a difference could they make? But I was very wrong to do this, because it’s just basic math: a house with $12,000 a year in property taxes is going to cost you $1,000 a month in taxes; a house with $6,000 a year in property taxes is going to cost you half that. Taxes make a huge difference.

We ended up with a home that was slightly pricier than what we had initially thought we could afford because the property taxes were so much lower on that property than they had been on lower-priced houses that it all came out in the wash.

3. Things are a little different if you’re getting an FHA loan.

If you’re FHA, you will be expected to pay the entire first years’ homeowner taxes prior to closing. This is just one of those “little” (by which I mean totally annoying and totally not little, but certainly littler than many other costs associated with home ownership) surprising costs that come up that no one ever told you about. Be prepared for this to happen every so often (hopefully less often after you’ve read this post).

4. FINDING A HOME

To start your home search, I’d advise hopping on the Internet: Trulia and Homes.com are both good, easy-to-navigate sites that can give you a general sense of what’s available in the areas you’re interested in.

Tips:

1. Look at homes both above and below your “ideal” range. Why? A) You never know, and B) You may find a home that seems too expensive but that has very low property taxes for one reason or another (which is what happened to us).

2. Your broker may not be able to talk about things like the local school system with you – there are laws that prevent them from doing this – so you’ll have to do your own research.

3. Even if a fixer-upper home seems like it needs too much work to be financially feasible, consider the fact that you may be able to negotiate a seller’s concession, wherein the seller basically gives you cash at the closing that you can use however you like.

5. BIDDING

This part sucksYou know how you’ve heard that it’s a “buyers market”? Apparently not for us, because we got involved in – and lost – three bidding wars in a row. And then a house that we lost came back on the market, we got in another bidding war over it, and we lost again. No fun.

Here’s what you need to know to have a less miserable experience than we did:

1. Get pre-approved for the amount you’re willing to pay in advance. Do not wait until you find a home you love to start the loan application process, because this might result in someone else sweeping it out from under your feet.

2. Try this strategy (which was what ultimately won us the home we’re trying to close on now): If you find yourself in a bidding war, tell your broker that you will bid X dollars (we said 5K) over the other bidders’ highest bids, up until a certain point. You must pick your top number, or you risk paying way more than even you think the home is worth. And if the war goes beyond there, c’est la vie.

3. Remember that even if you lose one place, your dream home is still out there. If it’s meant to be, it will be, and if not, this was not your home. People say that all the time, but it’s true. It really is. It happened to us, and to literally every single other person I know who has gone through this process.

6. CONTRACTS

Congratulations: you have an acceptable offer! This, however, is different from an accepted offer; it just means that the owner is good with the amount of money you’ve offered. There’s still quite a ways to go: ahead of you are inspections, contract negotiations, the official “accepted” offer, and a lot of paperwork. To give you a sense of how interminable this process can be: our “acceptable” offer happened, like, fifty years ago. I’m still waiting for a closing date.

Patience, grasshopper.

The single most important thing that you can do prior to starting the contract negotiations is to have an inspector come in to check out the property. Do this right away, and make sure that you (rather than the seller) hire the inspector, because this is where you’ll find out how much room you have to negotiate (if you have expensive repairs that need to be made, for example, the seller may be open to lowering the price, doing the repairs themselves, or providing you with a seller’s concession).

(Problems on House #2 discovered during inspection.)

Or you might pull out entirely, like we did after discovering an oil tank issue at a home we had an offer on earlier this year (not the one we’re in contract for now).

7. “SURPRISE” COSTS

You know that you’ll need money for a down payment, but there are a lot of costs (both big and little) that have come up and surprised me along the way. Here’s a rundown:

- Inspection: You’ll have to pay for this even if the sale ends up falling through in contract negotations. It’s a pain – we had to pay for inspections twice (once on a house that we let go, and a second time on the house that we’re trying to close on now), but it’s necessary.

- Lawyer’s fees: My mom is a lawyer, which makes me lucky. This can get expensive.

- Title report: Your lawyer will run a title search to make sure that there are no weird claims on the property that will create a problem at closing.

- Insurance: You’ll need homeowner’s insurance, and if you’re FHA you’ll have to pay for the entire first year up-front (depending on your bank’s policy).

- Closing costs: There are lots of different components that go into closing costs, so they vary pretty dramatically…but they’re always a pretty major expense.

8. CLOSING

The closing is essentially the hand-off, where all the lawyers and players get together, everyone is in a good mood because this crazy process is finally over, and the signing begins. (Or at least that’s how I envision it, because ours hasn’t happened yet.)

Post-closing, you own the house and can move in at any time. But there’s a lot of paperwork that you need to sift through in preparation for closing, and you will spend many, many hours on the phone with your lawyer, bank loan officer, broker, and possibly a contractor (discussing any repairs that the bank may require in advance of closing). Just be patient, have a good printer/scanner at the ready, and take it one thing at a time.

One thing to note for freelancers: since you’re probably not making consistent deposits, you’ll have to provide documentation to the bank explaining any “large deposits” – so make sure you keep excellent records tracking your income.

You should also make sure that both partners’ names are on all of your bank accounts – for some reason our savings account is only in my name, so I’ve had to sign (and have the bank sign) a “Gift Letter” documenting every transfer from our savings account into our joint checking account saying that I basically gave our marital union a “gift”. Why? No very good reason, other than procedure and to make me crazy.

Prior to closing, the bank will also do their own appraisal and inspection – they want to know that the house is “worth” the amount of money that you’re borrowing to pay for it, and they may require some fixes to be made in advance of closing. These are generally the seller’s responsibility to fix and pay for, but of course who does and pays for the repairs is open to negotiation.

9. WHEW

So that’s it! I know, it sounds like an interminable hassle, but the end result is (I think; I’ll let you know for sure when I get there) beyond worth it. And it is doable, I promise.

I hope that was helpful – please let me know if you have any questions, and again, if you’d like to add anything from your own experiences, I’d love to hear from you in the comments.



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  • http://barnardbabyblog.tumblr.com Adrienne

    Uh, yeah- you definitely went through the ringer!  While some things are universal in the home buying process, everyone’s experience is going to be different.  We only looked for a few months, fell in love once and bought that house.  We ended up spending more than we wanted to (which came out in our downpayment, which we were lucky enough to have the 10% thanks to thrifty grandparents).  
    We dealt with stuff popping up at inspection, and delays, the seller didn’t want to move quickly, but really no major headaches thankfully.  
    Here’s some things I think you missed:

    Interest Rate Lock In- this was the most trying part of the process for us- you have to time lock in to get the lowest rate in a certain window so you have it for closing.  The agony of choosing when to lock in was miserable. This is why you need to work with a bank you really trust and realtor you love.  They are your tour guides and you have to trust and rely on them fully.

    Don’t Move Too Fast- I think in some parts of this process we moved too quickly because we loved the house.  Sometimes I look back and wish we’d slowed down a little and took all the various factors in to consideration.  Taxes are miserable, Oil prices are high, lawn maintenance in serious business in our ‘hood, schools are not great, etc etc.  A lot of that left me with buyers remorse for a long time.  Sometimes enough that I wish we had waited and rented a bigger place in the City and started our family there and then really choose where we wanted to live later.  
    At this point I’m beginning to love our house and our location again, but it isn’t a good feeling to be locked in to something so seriously in a down market and wanting out.  

  • Ashley

     I don’t envy you this process. But a brilliant woman I know has launched a very user-friendly online service to walk homebuyers through every step of this process. It’s called Doorsteps, and I’m holding onto it as my saving grace for the day when I am finally ready to buy:

    http://www.doorsteps.com

  • http://mrshpresents.wordpress.com/ Kiri H

    We were quite lucky when we bought our first house but we know in 3 years time we are going to have to move to be in a good school area – that is not a process I am looking forward to.
    Good luck for the move! Fingers crossed for you all!

  • Amyharrington1018

    Just some quick things if you are buying a new construction home…

    A lot of times the price isn’t negotiable, but upgrades are.  Ask for EVERY upgrade you could possibly want (including upgrading paint, extra cable outlets, lighting, etc.) because you never know what you can get.  If you don’t ask, you definitely aren’t getting it!

    Print out pictures of your dream kitchen, bathroom, etc. immediately.  Find out right away where they get their granite, cabinets, lighting, etc. and what their standard options are.  Visit the stores/suppliers immediately too and figure out if you want what they offer or if you want to pay to upgrade.  Builders will say they give you a lot of time, but to them that could mean 5 days to decide and these are big decisions. 

    If you can, get a timeline from them when you sign a binder for when they have their deadlines so you are prepared.

    Also, give yourself a budget for upgrades.  Figure out what is necessary as an immediate upgrade (such as a deck or granite) and what can easily be added later for the same cost (french doors, cable outlets). I just purchased a new home and have spent close to an extra 8K on upgrades in addition to the ones they gave us as part of our deal. It adds up… FAST!

    Remember… even if it’s not a fixer upper, a lot of what you see in model homes aren’t standard  options so you could end up paying 5,10,20+ thousand dollars in upgrades and a lot of that money can’t be rolled into the mortgage.  It has to be paid up front.

    Lastly, if there’s an association, get a copy of the bylaws before you purchase so that you know what restrictions you are getting into.  We saw one house we loved, but the association didn’t allow swingsets in the backyards.  That one was immediately crossed off the list.

    Good luck!

  • Rachel

    Hey Jordan,
    I’ve been so eager to hear the details about your home buying process. Even though our situations are a little different, I’ve felt like I relate you what you’ve been going through. Like you, my boyfriend and I have been on the hunt for the past two years. Unfortunately, it seems that where we want to live has been unaffected by the down housing market.

    We’d been renting for 4 years and were sick of being ‘bored’ living in some else’s house. We were ready to devote our off-time to home improvements and antiquing. Because of our budget and because we want land in the country and not a half-duplex in one of our small towns, the only properties that have ended up falling  into our search criteria are cash-only major fixer-uppers and short sales/foreclosures. We can’t afford to buy a house outright, so that left us with short sales and foreclosures. About a year and a half ago we make an offer on a quirky little property in Bucks County. We knew nothing about the short-sale process and had to trust our realtor and the listing agent to guide us through the offer process. The homeowner preferred to stick around for the showings and must have liked us, because he pulled us aside and told us he knew the bank would accept up to $60k less than the asking price. So we made our lowest offer and he accepted (which doesn’t really mean much, because it’s up to his lender to accept our offer as a short payoff). In the way these things go, we had to perform all of our inspections and present the reports with our offer to the bank. So technically we were shelling out inspection money before our offer was even accepted. Well, the first test we started with was the oil tank and we discovered that it was leaking. So we walked away.

    In the meantime we kept our eyes on the market and made a couple lowball offers on ‘normal’ listings, but nothing came through. In November 2011 we found the perfect house (another short-sale that had been listed for over a year). The listing price was way above our budget, but within the amount I was approved for, and the taxes were incredibly affordable. We went back and forth amongst ourselves for a few weeks and decided to ride out the holidays and make a decision about what to do in the New Year.

    Well, four days before Christmas, the upstairs apartment in the house we’d been renting caught fire due to electrical issues. By the end of the day the house had been condemned and we were told we could go in to salvage as much as we could. Luckily we both have very loving, local families who opened their homes to us. We knew we were going to buy a house soon, so we decided to take the opportunity to live rent-free with our families as long as could.  In February we finally made an offer on the home we loved back in November. After a bit of negotiating with the homeowner, our offer was accepted at 20% less than the list price. This short-sale was different from the first one, in that our contingency period wouldn’t commence until the bank accepted our offer.

    After five months of waiting, and getting very frustrated and almost giving up, the bank finally accepted our offer. Yesterday was day 1 of our contingency period and we’re hoping to close by the end of August. We just have to get through the inspections successfully, or else it’s back to renting.

    I wish you the best of luck with your future home and hope that your closing comes soon and is as stress-free as possible. At some point this should be fun, right?

    I’ve been reading your blog for the last few years and I look forward to your posts every day. Thanks for all the advice, jokes, recommendations, and cute pictures of little Indy!

    Best,
    Rachel
    p.s. please cross your fingers for us J

  • raiiin

    great tips jordan.  i’m excited for you and your family.  if i could do something differently with the home buying process, i would have gotten a separate plumber, electrician, and general contractor along with the regular inspector for the home inspection.  also, saved up more money for repairs, etc.  within the first year (er, 9 months), we had to replace the hot water heater and the main water line.  kind of getting a headache thinking about all the other “little things” that needed to be fixed.  

    best of luck with the new casa.  it’s going to be fun, stressful, fantastic, and everything they say it will be!

    xx

  • Kristen

    its worth pointing (since you have readers in NYC) out that buying a co-op will be a different process in that there is no inspection process – but there is a financial review of the building (which needs to be taken very seriously as poor management/planning on the part of the co-op board can have a direct financial effect on everyone who owns in that building), not all lenders will lend for a co-op mortgage, that the co-op has their own rules about how much you have to put down and how much they think you can afford, and that the co-op board approval process can be quite invasive…  
    To give you an example: We just bought a brooklyn coop and apparently, found the most difficult building in the park slope/prospect heights area, according to our mortgage broker…  (though nothing compare to many manhattan coops)  Our building required 25% down, a debt ratio of 25% or less and 4 *years* worth of maintenance in the bank both 6 months prior to, and 1 month after, closing…  (which we had to prove, of course, with 6 months worth of statements for every bank account we had) not to mention 8 letters of recommendation from friends & business associates and all of the fees associated with the co-op application…  To be honest, it made the mortgage process look like a cake-walk…   They’d just rejected 2 or 3 candidates before us and rejected another one just after us, so they meant business…

  • Kimberly Arale

    Hi Jordan………….we are on our second house now. And believe me if I knew then what I know now………….I would probably never ever bought my current home. And I would hire my own inspector and not one the realtor suggested. Our home was cosmetically nice but underneath it all…………….it masked many many flaws. I won’t drag this out but make sure you get an exterminator to really look at your property to make sure there are no underlying issues. Make sure if you have a chimney it is fully lined and capped. Ours didn’t and we had a nice bird come down it in january. Also, if you havea crawl space………….I would look and see what’s in it. Our inspector failed to and we were left with some dead things. We had to have it completely gutted and filled with concrete.