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Disclosure and De-Crumbing

A comment from reader Cee on How To Set Up A Buffet:

Jordan, this blog is getting really confusing. Who doesn’t know how to do this? Read over what you wrote. Is this blog about pointing out the extreme obvious? Note the zero comments. I felt the same about your “instructions” on turning a wine crate into a TV stand. This stuff is not content. If you’re supposed to be an “expert” on something tell us something we don’t know. Same with the weird carpet promotion thing. Who of your readers needs or cares about that? Is this a carpet blog? I don’t get it. I really like you and this site in general, but I think there is a major identity crisis going on, that weirdly I did not feel with when you were with NS. I also think it’s absolutely crucial that you disclose what you get paid for and what you don’t, what you get for free and what you don’t. Same with how you treat comments; it’s obvious you delete manically. Please set the rules for this. You don’t fool anyone when it’s just really positive comments, mostly from people who know. I don’t know who this Alejandra person is but she gushes at every word you write. That’s fine, but when people see the same names gush over and over and not a word of criticism (at least not a word that stays on the blog for long) you wonder. I think you’re revealing being rather green at the internet game. And I really do want to see you succeed!

My response:

Hi there Cee,

I get what you’re saying, but the truth is not everyone knows this stuff: that’s why so many articles exist explaining how to, for example, set up a buffet table (everyone from Martha Stewart to eHow has a snippet on this somewhere on their site). You know how to set up a buffet – maybe a lot of people do – but really, everyone doesn’t.

Look, I get it: I am under more scrutiny for the tips and advice I provide because this is at heart a personal blog…and that opens me up to a lot more criticism than if, say, I was a staff writer for RealSimple. But take RealSimple: in this month’s issue, they provide step-by-step instructions for decrumbing a toaster (which, yes, include unplugging the thing), and advise turning on a fan to get rid of the smell of mildew. Imagine if I wrote that? “Congratulations, Jordan, for knowing that turning on a fan can help diffuse bad smells; how’s that Harvard degree treating you?” I write about things that I think are interesting, and that I think are helpful, and I do my best to provide content every single day. I’m also not an expert, and never said I was (that’s a NonSociety thing that I don’t agree with); I’m a writer who pulls ideas from my daily life and supplements them with research, and my interest lies in the lifestyle sphere. I know the BetterTV segments that I shot down south were a little odd out of context, but since I had covered my trip down there, I thought it’d be nice to put up the finished product. I totally love that job, and I’m proud of the work I’m doing for them.

Re: deleting comments, I just went onto my Disqus, and verified that I have deleted exactly nine comments since starting RG. Here are the reasons I delete comments: overt antagonism (being called, for example, “repulsive” – as one commenter called me – is not constructive in any way, and I think it’s understandable that I don’t want that on my site), or when a commenter starts treating my site like their personal platform (that J.J. person should start their own site; mine is not the right venue for his/her 300 word diatribes). Also, for some reason a comment occasionally goes into “Spam” or “Unapprove” when I didn’t do anything to it (my comments are unmoderated); I go through those folders occasionally to pull out anything that went in there by mistake.

Re: lack of comments…sure, there are sites that get more comments, but two sites that I enjoy reading (Vie Society and Brooke Parkhurst’s site) get an average of 1 comment per post, from what I can tell. That’s not because they’re bad sites – they’re FANTASTIC, in my opinion – it’s because they’re not comment-driven sites (like, say, RBNS). It’s a different thing altogether. I’ve noticed that when I write very personal posts (like Love and Living Rooms, although 90% of the comments were, sadly, lost in the transfer over to the new incarnation of RG), I get more comments. I guess there’s just more to say about something like that then there is to say about a post on a restaurant.

Re: getting paid – I do disclose, and I have never failed to do so, even pre-FTC ruling. Those giveaways? I’m not getting paid for them, unless you see the “Sponsored Post” button or a crystal-clear disclosure statement at the bottom. Sometimes I like a product, and I want my readers to try it too…and I think giveaways are fun.

While I’m on the topic of disclosure: if I hear one more word about my “trust fund” I’m going to go insane. I do not have a trust fund, although I would be absolutely thrilled if I did. Kendrick and I support ourselves. It is tough. We are doing the best we can. I’m trying to build a career (freelance writing and television hosting, as supplemented by the income I get from working on this blog), and lord, is it depressing that being attacked comes with the territory (I’m not saying you’re attacking me; I’m saying that sites like this one seem to incur the wrath of certain readers).

I apologize if this sounds defensive; I’m not in the best mood this morning, and…I guess I am feeling attacked. I’ve had conversations like this one both via email and in the comments so many times. I don’t know how to keep explaining that I never said I was an expert; I don’t know how to keep explaining that I disclose whenever I get paid for a post. I do. I will. And that should end it…but it won’t. So what do I do? At some point, do I just start ignoring comments that accuse me of these things? I don’t want to do that – I don’t want to ignore anybody – but it’s frustrating, confusing, and demoralizing to have to explain this over and over.

I try to stay very positive here (and in general), but…I guess I’m just feeling pretty miserable today. I’m 28 years old, I’m transitioning from a career that I didn’t love to a career that (usually) makes me really happy, and I’m just doing the best that I can.



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May 4th, 2010 | Posted by Jordan | Best | 74 Comments »

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  • http://tomorrowonlyknows.tumblr.com heather

    I was going to post pretty much this exact same comment. I think as time passes you'll see a lot less negativity when people stop thinking of you as just another blogger who left NS. Unfortunately, because of your brief association with that mess, people still feel the need to criticize your every move. But that won't be the case forever. I really enjoy your blog, and I think think you are doing a great job finding your voice here. Keep up the good work! :)

  • MelissaMelissa

    I don't think that Jordan's acknowledgment that her piece on buffet-planning is not original in any way invalidates her argument.

    The genre of this blog involves both autobiographical recording and advice-giving related to autobiographical events. Hence, it makes perfect sense to have a post about buffets while the subject of the blog attends a wedding with a buffet. Or to see Jordan give a recipe while discussing how much her husband enjoyed it.

    Much of the content in lifestyle mags is produced by freelance writers just like Jordan, and 95% of it could be called “re-hashed.” Would you call O or RealSimple patronizing if they include a how-to that you already know about?

    It's not like there are countless new, never-before seen developments in design and lifestyle management every day. It's about personal style, which involves arranging, editorially selecting, from a lot of what's already out there. This is not simply “rehashing.” It's not a sin to blog about something like buffet-styling that has been discussed many times before. Part of what Jordan's blog does is present pieces of information that are relevant to her autobiographical blogging and personal life/style.

    Jordan, perhaps it would help some people who don't seem to understand the goals of your blog, if you include an explicit description of its goals in the FAQ?

    I for one feel like I understand the goals of your blog very well, and feel that you meet them very well. And I especially appreciate the frequency of your postings.

  • laur

    “Would you call O or RealSimple patronizing if they include a how-to that you already know about?”

    YES! I find mainstream, grocery-checkout-aisle magazines to be EXTREMELY redundant AND patronizing, which is why I try to use the internet as a source for more interesting home decor, lifestyle, fashion etc. content because it exists without the filter of large coorporations, celebrity loyalties, or advertisters that stifle compelling content. I mean, once Allure had a step-by-step on how to … shower! Not kidding.

    Why do you think the print-magazine publishing industry is dwindling? Because, like you said, “95% of it could be called 're-hashed.'” And blogs are trumping print media because they're able to produce more interesting content faster. So, as a blogger, what would be the point of rehashing rehashed content from magazines?

    But in the end, I agree with Jordan. I really do. And I think it's appalling that anyone would demand to know the source of her income. hearts.

  • Jane

    At the same time, don't you owe a large part of your success to Nonsociety, and Julia in particular? I'm guessing a very large percentage of those who follow your site discovered you through NS. And don't a lot of your professional contacts (Better TV, I'm assuming is one) come from NS?

  • annie

    I like and read Vie's blog but lets not pretend the whole privacy thing is working for her. It takes a couple of minutes on google to find out her identity. Don't know why she bothers trying to hide it anymore.

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    Exactly my point. Anyone can figure out who Vie is (and, how she manages to be so paid), but her thinly veiled attempt at privacy still keeps readers at arms length for highly nosy/personal attacks. If anything, I think it keeps the focus off of her personally and more about the things she blogs about. I think Jordan does the opposite and pretty much experiences the opposite from her readers.

  • nmk

    dude, you gotta stop humoring this bullshit. you don't have to be everyone's friend and you don't have to please every reader– just be confident in your ability and create a blog that you would want to read yourself. i think you are rad and would be happy to see you stop responding to every bitchy freak who wants to pick a bone with you on the internet. decide on a policy (allow comments, or get rid of them altogether; read comments always, sometimes, or never.) and stick to it– it will help give you a sense of control and give your readers confidence in you. if you show us that negativity can too easily dismantle you, commenters will see it as weakness and it will only open you up to more criticism. and the blog becomes too annoyingly meta and everyone just ends up talking about the politics of blogging (which is interesting perhaps, but not fun for you, probably, when it degenerates into personal attacks).

    i know the negative comments bother you and i hate to see you get picked on, but i think the only solution is to say screw it and save your energy for the content. i totally get and appreciate that you want to know what your readers want, but this isn't a democracy. in the end, if readership drops and the whole blog thing doesn't work out, you are smart, resourceful and creative and i'm sure you'll be successful in whatever you do.

    in summation: you are awesome. stop looking to readers for validation. don't feel compelled to react to detractors. just do your thing, lady!

  • jenifercurran

    I think you're great, Jordan. I love to read your stuff. And if there's a post that doesn't interest me in particular, I skip it. YES, you should ignore people like this. I don't think she was attacking you either, I think she was offering some bitter criticism. Criticism is fair. But there was an emphasis on the bitter. You don't need it. Respond to people who treat you with respect when they're curious, but if they can't be kind in an email, if they're demanding or insulting, forget it. Brush that dirt off your shoulder, girl.

  • jane

    wow – “Is this a carpet blog?”

    um, no. there was like 1 post about carpets. and tons of posts about tons of other different stuff. yes, i skip posts about things that don't relate to my life but find more than enough posts that do and that make reading this blog worthwhile (vodka infusions? um, amazing, and i had never even heard of that before, as basic as it might seem to other people. thanks jordan!).

    cee: skim through the stuff that bores you and respond to the stuff that interests you — not the other way around.

  • jordanreid

    YES.
    Right on every single point, and thank you: I'm actually saving this comment in a Word document so I can refer back to it when need be.
    I think my need to address the negativity comes from the fact that there was just so effing much of it when I was at NonSociety, but I felt like I shouldn't/couldn't address it there…and now that I can, I want to explain everything. Very little of it has followed me here – and as some commenters below said, hopefully over time even that will go away – but it's still hard to ignore when it pops up, especially since naysayers tend to be more vocal and persistent than those who actually enjoy the blog (that's why the comment about Alejandra confused me; there are so many people who comment negatively on every post on certain websites – fortunately not this one – but it's not ok for someone to have positive, insightful thoughts on multiple posts?).
    I know that I cannot and will not get everyone in the world to like me, or to even understand me, and you're absolutely right: a hard-and-fast policy will do wonders both for my emotional state and for my ability to focus on producing topical content.

  • http://www.thatgirlallison.com Allison

    I have trouble believing you have a trust fund. What trust fund baby would live in a walk-up on 2nd avenue? (No judgment toward anyone who lives in a walk-up on 2nd ave, I am a firm believer in doing whatever-it-takes-to-stay-here!)

  • http://www.ONAtlanta.com KyleCollins

    I wouldn't feel too bad about having to explain/catch up on people's (maybe negative) questions from time-to-time. Think of it as building a relationship; trust takes time.

    I enjoy the Real Simple-esque posts. You're right, not everyone knows the basics; hell, I don't even know how to sew on a button – sadly ;) . You could position it as “Just So You Know” or something similar to Martha Stewart's “Gentle Reminders.” “In Case You Don't Know,” etc…

    Nonetheless, keep doing what you're doing, incorporate the feedback as it feels right to you, and keep on truckin' ;)

  • Allegra

    I love that this somehow turned into a judgment of magazines like O and Real Simple. Seriously? Because Jordan name-checked some extremely popular magazines she is reduced to their level of being “patronizing” and “redundant”?

    Like most blog readers, I skip the items that I'm not interested in. In Jordan's case, that's very few. I love the how-to posts. It's a signature style that Jordan has used since very early in her blogging days, and ranges from recipes to style to hair/makeup to all things home and entertaining. I think that using a “how to” format, even if it's for something obvious, makes Jordan more relatable and more likable. If she were to do the inverse, say “the buffet at the wedding looked awful, and everyone knows how to set up a buffet,” she would get even more crap emails, and I wouldn't be reading anymore.

    Keep up the great work, Jordan. I guarantee you that the majority of your silent readers love your content as is.

  • EmiMae

    Just so you know, I really like your comments. I think I'll start commenting on Jordan's blog more so that she knows there's more people like you out there.

  • jordanreid
  • AJ

    Jordan, I am not really sure what to take away from this. You have not only deleted my comments, but you banned me from commenting here on one of my computers. Since this is year 2010, that's not so hard to get around but honestly why would I want to. I was alerted to this post by a friend who still reads your blog, although I have mostly stopped ever since I was banned because what's the point.

    By the way, the deleted comments that caused the bandom were passionate but they were not mean. They were regarding meat sustainability and sources, and that is a topic I feel you have contradicted yourself on. YOU brought it up in the first place, I was excited to see it addressed here because I feel like it's a very important issue and it would have been cool to see you take a stand on something that is an important issue in society right now. But your blog continued to be a series of you eating with no regard for where your food comes from or how your meat is treated. You are the one who started the vegetarian dialogue, you are the one who wanted to show yourself butchering a pig. The other thing I tied in with that was how I feel that you have been hypocritical about where you got your dogs from. I know you feel guilt over how you got your dogs, but I was just asking how the volunteering you promised was going because the reality is that it is obviously going nowhere. And…BOOM! Ban-hammer.

    I didn't come to here to name call, taunt or anything similar. I was simply speaking passionately and 2 things I deeply care about, which are both things I feel you have presented mixed-messages on. Your post about “Oh here, don't you want a paralyzed dog?” came across as ridiculous in light of what we know is your background with pets. If that gets me banned, well, to paraphrase…I don't want to be a part of any club that would want me as a member.

    I am sure this will be deleted, and I won't be back. But best of luck with whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish. My advice to you would be to do what you want and to stop with these silly “poor me” posts. I would also say to stop deleting comments unless they are truly vile, because I don't believe that it's only been 9 total. Maybe your Disqus is wrong, but something seems off there.

    Take care.

  • jordanreid

    Hi there AJ,

    This was a thoughtful and well-considered post; thank you. And yes, the two comments you made on an earlier post were two of the few that I have deleted, because they were rude, sarcastic, and unhelpful. If you'd like to comment in this manner (by which I mean the post on this thread) going forward, be my guest. But please do know that comments like your earlier ones will continue to go unapproved.

  • natashaattal

    Continue with the great posts. The whole point of your blog is “a haphazard guide to happiness” which is stated right on your website! I don't understand why people continue to criticize you about the expert topic – you have never claimed to be an expert. I find your posts to be fun and fresh and if I am not interested in a post, I just move on. Others should do the same. Talk soon!

  • AJ

    Well golly gee willikers, Jordan…I'd love to keep commenting to see whether you will approve them or not, but you've banned me once again after this last comment. In fact I think you banned an entire IP subnet just over little ole me. I thought what I said was kind of sarcastic and rude, but you called it thoughtful, so now I'm confused! Maybe you were being sarcastic and rude? I may never know.

    I will try not to use sarcasm and just be direct and say, this is why I find you condescending and hypocritical. “Thanks for your comment! Come again! BANNED”. I really won't be back, but I tried to comment again after your nice and encouraging comment back only to find myself BANNED. Again! Perplexing. Why did you even bother to reply.

    Seriously, best of luck, I mean it. And also, just keep it real girl. Most people will respect you for sticking to your true guns instead of all this banning nonsense.

  • MelissaMelissa

    Since “to patronize” means “to treat condescendingly” and since condescension can be defined as “a show of disdain and superiority in which the condescending person patronizes, or considers herself superior and 'descends' to the level of, the disdained person”, no, I do not think either RealSimple, O Magazine, or Jordan's post about the buffet were patronizing. Poor word choice to begin with.

    I am not a big fan of these design magazines anyway, and I agree that they get away with recycling content, but I think that a personal blog like Jordan's, which blends personal style and autobiographical narrative, has different goals. It's acceptable in this casual format, at least in my opinion, to editorially select content available elsewhere, tailor it to the events and personality depicted on the site, and present it to readers without being patronizing or condescending.

    Jordan wasn't saying, “Let me tell you something that will blow your mind about how to do a buffet” but “Let me quickly put a list of tips out here, some of which are widely circulated, some of which I've tweaked, all of which are relevant to this wedding I'm attending at present.”

  • jm

    hi Jordan

    Your blog is fun and I don't see any reason to pay any attention to people who weirdly have the time to get all worked up about how the comments they make are handled.

    Commenters–if you are spending more than one hour on any one comment you have made (going back to it, checking responses, etc)–you are wasting your life. If you have that kind of time to spend online, start your own blog, period. Or go exercise or eat something healthy, which would probably do you more good than bitching on the internet.

    Jordan, I think your work is great and watching the development of your blog and your career is delightful. It's risky to document the development of your work, as you are doing. I enjoy reading you blog and will continue to enjoy it and recommend it.

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