I love Dr. Phil.
Or, perhaps more accurately, I love watching Dr. Phil. I mean, I don’t necessarily agree with him 100% of the time, and I’m not entirely certain I’d want to have him over for dinner (I think he’d stress me out)…but the man usually does offer some fantastic advice.
Take for example, this Q&A from a recent episode of the OWN Network’s Ask Oprah’s All Stars.
Q. I’ve been a bridesmaid 11 times in the past four years. Each wedding has cost around a thousand dollars. I love my friends and I can’t say no, so what’s the best way for me to save up?
DR. PHIL: Well, first off, this isn’t about sayin’ no to your friends. It’s about saying yes to yourself. Okay?…Can you afford the ticket to the dance? And you’re telling us, no you can’t…So how do you say no? You just look at ’em and say, “Listen, I really, I really love you, you’re a great friend. I would be tickled to death to be at your wedding, but frankly, I don’t have a thousand dollars that it costs to do the dress. But I’ll be there. Let me do something else. Let me serve punch, let me do whatever, but I don’t have a thousand dollars, and so I’m just gonna have to say to say no, because I can’t afford to be a bridesmaid for the thirtieth time in my life.”
In my book, that’s pretty dead-on advice. I actually had this conversation with a girlfriend a few days ago, and I told her that her friend would understand if she simply didn’t have the money, and would appreciate her offer to help out in ways that don’t take such an enormous financial toll (for example, assembling favors or addressing invitations). But this is a very sensitive subject (you may have heard that brides have a tendency to get a titch emotional about their weddings), so I also think that anyone turning down the offer to be a bridesmaid should go into the conversation with a few very specific things that they’d like to do to help out with the wedding, so that there’s no fear that the friend will feel that they just don’t care.
But that’s a digression (although I am curious what your thoughts are on this all-to-common etiquette issue). Back to Ask Oprah’s All Stars. In each episode of the 4-part special, Dr. Phil, Suze Orman, and Dr. Oz appear on-stage together before a live studio audience to answer questions about “health, wealth, and mental well-being.” Recent topics covered have included how to ask your boss for a raise, juice fast cleanses, and what a wenus really is (yes, seriously).
Click here for an OWN Network Channel Finder so you can catch up on all four two-hour Ask Oprah’s All Stars specials, as well as other must-see shows like Master Class and Your OWN Show: Oprah’s Search for the Next TV Star (gooooo Zach!).
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