Lifestyle

What I Wouldn’t Give To Meet This Man

“I was working a lunch counter on Columbus Avenue. It was a ‘transitional’ phase in my career, meaning I was transitioning from heroin to crack, and I was wearing a snap-front, white polyester dishwasher shirt with the name of the linen service over the left breast pocket, and dirty blue jeans. I was cooking pancakes. And eggs fucking Benedict – the English muffins toasted under the salamander on one side only, half-assed, ’cause I just didn’t care…I could make any kind of omelet with the fillings available, and the people who sat at my counter and placed their orders looked right through me. Which was good, because if they really saw me, really looked into my eyes, they’d see a guy who – every time somebody ordered a waffle – wanted nothing more than to reach forward, grab them by the hair, and drag a dirty and not particularly sharp knife across their throat before pressing their face into the completely fucked-up, always-sticky waffle iron. If the fucking thing worked anywhere near as inefficiently as it did with waffles, their face would later have to be pried off with a butter knife.”

– Anthony Bourdain, Medium Raw

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