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“I’m not the picture-perfect girl I always assumed he’d end up marrying – but who needs that bitch?”

You must must must check out this article (via The Frisky) by the thoughtful, inspiring writer and comedian Jen Curran.

You (Yes, You) Always Make Me Smile

Thanks to reader Katie for sending me this song. It turned a down day right side up.

(Watch the adorable video HERE.)

Reader Question / Rescue Chair Rehab

Q. Hey Jordan!

Longtime reader here, or well since your blog began! Anyway, I have this ugly brown wooden chair in my apartment. I found it on the street one night and brought it home, vowing to my roommate that I was going to make it more interesting. Well, it’s been almost a year now, and the chair hasn’t changed. Given the long weekend, I thought I would finally tackle this project. I was thinking of maybe just buying some paint and painting it but I’m not really sure where to start. Any ideas would be much appreciated; you seem to have a knack for DIY projects.

Thanks!

Jess

A. Ooh, congrats on your first furniture rescue! First, and most important: since you spent exactly $0 on this thing, and it’s not a piece that’s particularly special to you (like a family hand-me-down), that gives you tons of freedom to really be brave. What’s the worst thing that can happen? You throw it out…and have to rescue another forlorn pile of wood from the sidewalk or spend $2 at the Salvation Army? Also, since it’s not an investment piece you’re not going to want to spend a lot of money or time on the project, so I think stain or paint really is the way to go.

I’m more of a paint girl, myself, because I’m not particularly into subtlety (but if you prefer stain, click HERE for some tips). I love bright colors with metallic accents – the very first chair I re-did I painted hot pink with gold leaf on the slats, and it was pretty incredible and Matthew Williamson-esque. Lately I’m loving high-gloss black-and-white, but I’d say to let your imagination run wild. Slap on wide yellow-and-black stripes, or use stencils to paint a big floral design on the seat. Or both!

Before painting or staining, you might want to restore the wood; I tend not to do this on dilapidated old pieces, because I’m impatient and don’t see the point in putting a ton of time into something that I probably won’t want to pay a mover to transport next time we move, but that’s just me. If you want to make this a piece that’ll last for at least a few years, you may want to put in the extra effort. First you’ll have to either strip off the old paint or sand off the old stain, and then sand again to smooth down the wood. Fill in any damaged areas or cracks with wood putty, let dry, and then sand down again to create a smooth surface.

Some furniture-painting tips:

1) If you’re going to strip the furniture first, sand along the grain of the wood (if you want to get really fancy, start with 80 grit and move up to 150 grit or 220 grit, using a tack cloth to remove sawdust between sandings).

2) Use water-based paint on wood furniture, and use a synthetic brush with water-based paint (and vice versa).

3) Gloss paint shows everything…only use it if the surface you’re painting is pristine (use semi-gloss or matte for a more forgiving finish).

4) Put down a (big) drop cloth. You’ll think you won’t splatter paint on everything, but you will (our dining room set is now adorned with an attractive speckled pattern from my many painting projects).

5) Nail polish remover gets the stains off of furniture/floors that have been splattered, but spot-test first to ensure that you won’t take off anything you don’t want to.

If you’d like to make the chair a little cozier, you can also DIY a padded seat cushion pretty easily: just buy a piece of foam cut to fit the seat (you can get this at most fabric stores), and either sew together the pieces as you would a pillowcase, insert the foam, and then sew up the last side, or just use fabric glue to cover the foam with the fabric of your choice (I did this on a windowseat cushion in my LA place, and it looked great, although it did need to be re-glued after a few months).

Hope that helps!

Image via Heart&Design.

Centerpiece Idea / Teacups & Carnations

How gorgeous is this centerpiece (part of yesterday’s shoot)? I just cut a bunch of carnations (leaving 1″ of stem) and set them in a water-filled vintage teacup with a few little yellow blossoms in the center for contrast. Make sure to completely fill the cup, leaving no space at all – I used 6 carnations, but if you use smallish ones you may need more.

Top view:

A Slice Of Today

We shot a few on-the-street scenes for an upcoming (exciting!) project, and the kids came along to keep me company for a bit.

I love them so. Those faces!

H&M button-down, Hudson jeans, Tuleste Market bangle, Steve Madden wedges. The H&M top, by the way, is awesome and super-thin (=super-comfortable, although I bought it two sizes too big so it’d fit loosely), and is going to be a staple of my fall wardrobe…and it was only about $24. Go get one!

Try This Thursday / But Every Day, Really

I know, I know…I usually do “Try Thises” on Tuesdays. But this particular one just felt like the perfect kickoff to the last official weekend of summer.

I recently had my very first St. Germain (elderflower liqueur) experience (I picked up a tiny bottle of the stuff one night because it looked like a vial of antidote you might see in an Indiana Jones movie)…and man, is the above cocktail ever good, and perfect for a sunny Happy Hour. I added a tiny squeeze of lemon juice, but otherwise prepared it by-the-book.

John Sahag Blonding / Camera In Front of My Face

I generally don’t enjoy going up to random people and asking them to take my picture. Sure, I’ll ask Kendrick, or a close friend, but otherwise I generally find this an odd, embarrassing (if sometimes necessary) thing to do. But I did want to share a couple of the cool tips I learned at the John Sahag Workshop yesterday with you…so: this photo series also stars my trusty Canon.

First, remember Doug? He’s the guy who does very genius things to my hair (including Keratin), but perhaps most genius of all was the thing he did yesterday. In the top photo, see how he’s teasing the hair that didn’t get folded up into foil for highlights? After he did this, he put some lightener on his hands and just scrunched it into the tips of my hair, creating a gorgeous, completely natural, beachy effect. I’ve never seen anyone else do this, and I love it love it.

See how great the color turned out? After highlighting, I headed over to see my buddy Karmela for a little bang trim and gossip.

And finally, Franny (the JS staffer who first convinced me to try Keratin, because I so loved the results on her hair) taught me how to use Velcro rollers for maximum effect: roll the hair in the direction that it grows, but pulling in the opposite direction (as pictured above  - see how she’s pulling the hair that falls down the left side of my head up and to the right before rolling?) – basically, you just want the hair at the root to go against the part to create lots of volume.

Service generously provided gratis by management.

Travel Tip / Fresh, Fabulously Scented Luggage

When packing for a trip, tuck some crumpled tissues spritzed with perfume around your clothing so it arrives at your destination prettily scented and ready-to-wear. For best results, I’d go for clean florals (like L’Occitane’s Rose 4 Reines Eau de Toilette) or fresh, green scents (like Creed’s Virgin Island Water) over musky or sweet ones.

Image via Bridalguide.

Little Italy / Il Fornaio

For last night’s anniversary dinner, we decided to do cheap & delicious in Little Italy (my favorite place to dine outdoors during the summer months). My family and I have been frequenting Il Fornaio for years, mostly because it’s an inexpensive gem of a hole-in-the-wall that’s nothing like the overpriced tourist traps that make up the bulk of the restaurants on the Mulberry strip (although I’d skip the Caprese next time – they cut the mozzarella way too thick, and I wasn’t nuts about the dried herbs sprinkled over the top). I always get the same thing – baked ziti for about $10 – but will be changing my future order to the dish that Kendrick’s grinning about up there: rigatoni tossed with tomato cream sauce, bacon, and shallots.

Or…you know what? Scratch that, I need to make me some bacon-cream rigatoni ASAP. I bet I can come up with a pretty good approximation, but would welcome recipe suggestions!

(Apologies re: iPhone photos…I left my camera home in all the excitement.)

Oh, and we brought these back home with us for a little late-night snack:

Rrrrr.

Now THAT Is A Cocktail Ring

Check out last night’s $12 Chinatown purchase!

Top view:

Love it. (This one, which you can buy online for $9.90, is sort of similar.)

Totally Surprised Kendrick

This anniversary I made Kendrick promise, swear, cross heart etc. that we wouldn’t exchange gifts or do anything fancy. I did this because I wanted to blow his mind by getting him something that he’s wanted – needed, actually – for a long time now, and I didn’t want it to be about quid pro quo…I wanted it to be about him, because god knows, it’s a Jordan kind of world around these parts a lot of the time, and he deserves something special.

Update: No actual gift reveal in this video – you didn’t miss anything! The point wasn’t what I got him – it was how happy he was :)

This Movie Was Way Awesome

Last night we went to see a movie in a completely empty theater. This was an excellent thing, because I screamed – SCREAMED – my way through about 60% of it. And I’m usually more of an occasional yelper than a screamer.

Piranha 3D is maybe the simplest movie I’ve ever seen. It’s almost certainly the most grotesque movie I’ve ever seen. It’s positively pornographic (look for the really really (really) long girl-on-girl mermaid scene), and its humor is ridiculously juvenile. Watching this movie is like calling in sick to work, eating an entire box of doughnuts, drinking a 6-pack of cheap beer, and dancing around to Britney Spears before settling in for a little America’s Funniest Home Videos with a stack of Archies propping up your feet. And you know what that sounds like to me? FUN.

It will absolutely be considered by some to be the lowest of the low: an irredeemable, disgusting, obvious, dumb piece of trash. But I think that the people who will disregard this movie are probably pretty enamored of their own sophistication, and likely don’t believe that entertainment for entertainment’s sake has a real place in the world. Which is to say, lots of people I don’t particularly want to hang out with will insist that it’s a bad movie, refusing to allow any further discussion of the matter.

It is not a bad movie. I am not joking one little bit when I say that I think that Piranha 3D is a freaking masterpiece. Look, obviously it’s not Braveheart, Shawshank Redemption, Silence of the Lambs – it’s not even Seven – but it’s not trying to be. It clearly puts forth the thesis that boobs and guts are pretty damn entertaining…and you know what? They are. I could say that it’s tongue-in-cheek, but I wouldn’t call it a wink; I’d call it a billboard with the words, “Isn’t this awesome?!” printed across it in huge red letters. This movie is exactly what a movie called “Piranha 3D” should be…and as these kinds of films go, this is as good as it gets.

P.S. You can buy the poster pictured above HERE.

Because It’s Our Anniversary…

…a few of my favorite Love-type memories from the past few months.

A Nissan Altima and a Dream

Corolla!

Raiders of the Lost Ark…On an Aircraft Carrier

On the Agenda Tonight

One More Time, For The Cheap Seats

Everything Ogunquit (and Barnacle Billy’s)

Kendrick vs. The Bugs

Coney Island Saturday

Happy Anniversary, sweetheart.

Trapiche Wine Tasting

Yesterday afternoon I was invited to attend a wine tasting hosted by Trapiche (@trapichewine) and catered by Hill Country BBQ. I thought long and hard about whether or not to accept. Two hours filled with Argentinian Malbecs, brisket, and pecan pie? Mehhh.

It was amazing.

Read the rest of this entry »

Awaiting Fall With Bated Breath

These coats – both discovered at Bloomingdale’s during Sunday’s shopping excursion – got me all excited for long walks through crunching leaves. I am so over this heat, and so ready to enter Pumpkin Spice Latte and Mittens Land.

This (faux) Fur-Trimmed Parka ($248), by Free People  is a perfect expression of my most passionate parka dreams. It is very thin, alas, and only lined through the torso, so it’s doubtful it’d work past November…but hey, layering’s always an option when something is this gorgeous.

And this Perfectly Plaid Coat ($298; also by Free People) is much, much, much cuter in person than it looks in this picture: it has super-wide bell sleeves, lace detailing on the inside, and a collar that looks fantastic turned up around your ears. Add poofy white earmuffs, and you’re set.

P.S. Want a Pumpkin Spice Latte now? The Kitchn has a great DIY Starbucks recipe.