The best words I can use to describe last night’s Halloween extravaganza: Laser. Focus. These two were ON TASK.
(First, can we please note that heart sunglasses make quite the perfect addition to a Belle costume?)
Now allow me to present to you the series of “family photos” my neighbor took of us. I’m going to tell you who I think won each shot; let’s see if you concur.
Kendrick, definitely.
This one’s a tough call, between the closed and/or wholly obscured eyes (Kendrick, Indy) and the mid-speech expressions (me, Goldie). I’m going to give Kendrick the win again, though, because my husband is physically incapable of looking at a camera and not doing something weird.
And finally, this one. This prize goes to the cat, who’s clearly the real star of these pictures, anyway.
(Oh my god, that cat. The YOWLING. Worst.)
“You guys are walking SO. SLOWLY.”
Being a parent on Halloween is 51% keeping your children alive, and 49% trying not to spill your Solo cup of wine on the stroller.
See how that pumpkin is blurry? That’s because it’s vibrating.
We need to have a quick conversation about this one, because Halloween is one thousand percent the culmination of all her three-year-old dreams. People just give you candy?! And you can EAT IT?!?
RIGHT NOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
“The sign said to take one piece. You only took one piece, right?”
“Five.”
“You can only take one.”
“No, five.”
“One.”
“Five. In my bucket.”
(Guess who won this argument?)
Laser. Focus.
Finally, the night came to an end, and the weary travelers rolled home, put their candy neatly on a shelf, and then sat down to a healthy, balanced meal lovingly prepared by their mother in a burst of supreme foresight and wisdom.
I’m totally kidding. They ate ten thousand Kit Kats while watching Goosebumps, came into contact with not a single speck of soap or toothpaste, and passed out in their underwear.
In short: It was a hell of a Halloween, by which I mean “a perfect one.”
