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My New Glasses!

My much-loved ’80s-style pair of ridiculousness has, as my mom would say, “had the biscuit,” so the other day I traipsed over to 86th Street in search of an optical shop. At Kalmus Optical (217 East 86th between 2nd and 3rd; 212-737-7874) Mr. Singer, the optometrist, gave me one of the most thorough eye exams I’ve ever had (none of that in-and-out, perfunctory LensCrafters stuff), and then declared that one of my eyes is perfect…and that the other is 20/400. Yikes.

But better times were ahead! After scanning the racks of new frames, I noticed a case towards the back filled with a totally bizarre, eclectic mish-mosh of styles.

Apparently the optometrist had a warehouse for several decades that he recently cleaned out…or something like that. I asked if the vintage frames sold particularly well, and was told that no, they don’t really – so if this is your style, they’re yours for the taking! Please note the pale-pink pair on the far right, second from bottom. Amazing.

And check out my selection:

I LOVE them – they’re one-of-a-kinds from the late ’70s – and think that they should always be worn with red lipstick and a vaguely confused facial expression. I also expect a wee bit of mockery to come my way.

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