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I consider myself a capable person; always have. I can swap out a light fixture; micromanage three separate schedules; make a passable dinner out of whatever detritus is in the back of the refrigerator. But single motherhood will take all that capableness and say HOLD MY BEER. (So will life in general, small humans or no. This “being an adult” thing is vastly overrated.)
That said, I also identify as a Disaster. I was definitely born to blog; things go amiss for me in tremendously odd (and often quite funny, depending on your perspective) ways…ah…often. With cars, for example: My car-owning experiences have included:
- Buying a sparkly sea-green Dodge convertible and having it break down permanently in the middle of the desert while wearing a white minidress with no cell service (this, surprisingly, did not result in my death by axe murderer);
- Totaling my ex-husband’s car approximately 28 minutes after I uttered the words “Come on, what am I gonna do? Total it?”;
- Utterly demolishing a Lexus transmission after sneezing while driving next to (over) a curb;
- Oh, god, so many oopsies.
(One more: I once was driving through Beverly Hills right outside the police station when I made eye contact with a very attractive man driving the opposite way, and promptly rear-ended the person in front of me, resulting in exploded air bags that no, I did not get fixed, but rather duct-taped back into place. On the positive side, the police appreciated my consideration, what with getting into an accident three steps from their front door.)
TL;DR, probably best that I drive as little as possible. But since my budget does not currently include “chauffeur” as a line item and since I have two very tech-y friends who sold me on the brilliance of the full-self-drive system available in Teslas back to 2021 (meaning they’re relatively affordable, in addition to coming with tax incentives), I decided to look into trading in my Toyota for a vehicle that will theoretically be much more attentive to road conditions than I.
The face of a person who does not know she is about to spend two full days at Toyota.
And I bought one! Except after two full days spent negotiating at the Toyota dealership for one of their used Teslas and moments before receiving the key, I realized the dealership guys were screwing with me, telling me they were taking money off but then just adding it on elsewhere. It was still a fine deal, but I ended up storming out in a self-righteous huff. Adding to my irritation: I had already asked Duckbill, the personal service I’ve been using and obsessing over for a year now, to handle switching over my insurance to the new car and signing me up for the full self-drive situation at Tesla. These would ordinarily be a deeply annoying and time-consuming processes, and I was quite excited to outsource…until I realized that I had jumped the gun, and now needed to undo all of those tasks that I had already diligently completed by asking someone else to do them.
The anxiety passed quickly, though, because do you know what I did next? Had Duckbill deal with all of it. They reversed the insurance back to my Toyota, set up an appointment with an actual Tesla dealership, and provided me with specific Tesla model recommendations based on my budget and usage.
(Sorry, one more quick Duckbill-is-amazing story: A couple of months ago I had to return a pair of shorts, but couldn’t recall where I’d bought them. Duckbill managed to locate the vendor, arrange for a return to be picked up from my house, and got me a 25% off coupon for my next order, just ‘cause. It was like CHRISTMAS.)
Anyway, the number of hours and headaches that Duckbill has saved me are legion. This week alone, my personal assistant (who is AI when it makes sense, to keep costs down, but who is a wildly capable human when need be) has saved me from spending thousands on a scam vacation package by warning me about Reddit reviews, helped me find spring break options that include scuba diver certification courses for my 13-year-old, found me cheaper health insurance and then handled all the paperwork to change it, helped me replace a toilet that has decided to rebel against the members of my household and spit water at us, and schedule a mammogram (they also reminded me of my appointment the day before, because they know me).
Which brings me to my amazing giveaway that I insist you enter because I need you to try this. It will help you. It may even, dare I say, restore you.
What you’ll win:
- 3 months (!!) of Duckbill’s personal assistant services (actually PRICELESS)
- A 14k gold-plated Tiny Tags dogtag necklace customized with your choice of inscription
- A $200 gift card for a pair of Tieks’ luxe, ultra-comfortable (and adorable) foldable flats
- Two runners-up will also win 3 free months of Duckbill.
Oh AND?! Everyone who enters will get 50% off of two months of Duckbill. If you don’t want to continue after that, I will eat my proverbial hat.
To enter:
- Join Duckbill’s waitlist by signing up here (make sure you do this, because the winners will be pulled from this list)
- Follow me (@ramshackleglam) and the participating brands (@duckbill, @tinytags & @tieks) on Instagram
Winners will be announced 9/25/24 and contacted via email or DM.
